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I now know.

| Not taking into account my |parentals' preferred brand of nappies, I have been deprived of the pampering available to babies. This week I became aware of the Floaty Baby Spa in Texas, which offers floatation devices to babies from birth to six months, allowing them a 20-minute independent bob around the pool before they are treated to a full body massage. Couldn't be more foaming that I never got to float.

Floaty Baby Spa in Texas, which offers | Having a 30-minute meltdown |about the colour of my trousers is unacceptable in a civilised society.

| A funny lady - who people seemed |to really like or really not like (hate is not part of my public vocab yet) - called Joan Rivers will never tell another joke after going to sleep for the last time on Thursday. Truth be told I haven't heard any of her jokes yet... and probably won't for another 15 years or so. But from what I've heard, she was funnier than any episode of the Mr Men you care to mention, and sharper than every knife I'm never allowed anywhere near.

haven't heard any of her jokes yet...

| The X Factor wasn't just a one off. |The 'talent' show which gives four celebrity judges the chance to show us how funny and better-thaneveryone-else they are at the expense of a parade of people who mostly can't sing as well as they think they can the chance to show us how funny and better-thaneveryone-else they are at the expense of a parade of people who mostly can't sing as well as they think they can (breath), returned at the weekend, and will remain at the centre of Saturday nights the UK over until pretty much Christmas. I vote we all try and recapture the joy of family board games I've heard so much about (Buckaroo sounds nuts)... and turn the telly off.

| The metaphorical mattress of |madess they like to call 'the bedroom tax' may be flipped in the not too distant. The disciples of Nick Cloggs and Ed Millipede have clubbed together to see if they can do something about the particularly unreasonable aspects of the across-the-board law which says people should have to pay extra money if they have more bedrooms than they absolutely need. Keeping everything but my eyes crossed.

do something about the particularly unreasonable aspects of the across-the-board law which says people should have to pay extra money if they have more bedrooms than they absolutely need. Keeping everything but my eyes crossed.

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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:The Journal (Newcastle, England)
Date:Sep 6, 2014
Words:419
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