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I STAYED IN ONE AND IT WAS HORRIBLE.

Byline: By RICHARD HAMMOND

I JUST don't get it. What is it about living in a big plastic sandwich box parked in a field and having to pee in a bucket?

I've stayed in a caravan and it was just awful. I slept in something that was like a bed, only it was less comfortable, which then converted into something like a sofa, only less comfortable.

I then used something that was meant to be a kitchen, only less practical and then tried to use something that was meant to be a shower, only less good.

Ever since I was a child I've been a big fan of camping and sleeping in the damp under canvas but I've never wanted to stay in a caravan. The new survey shows lots of people do it but lots of people are gripped by diarrhoea. And then think of the cost.

I've heard about people paying a fortune - up to pounds 30,000 for these things - which is just madness. You could have foreign holidays for years for that sort of money.

You sometimes see whole streets with caravans parked out the front.

It wouldn't surprise me if these people all go away at the same time to the same sites so they can pitch up next to their neighbours. Admittedly, I did once flirt with the idea of buying one of those 60s Airstream chrome models which I could pull by my Mustang, but in the end I chickened out.

I just couldn't see the appeal and I didn't want to annoy other motorists. Because, apart from having no point, caravans are the most annoying things on the road, jamming up the motorways because they're always towed at such low speeds.

It's all right for the enthusiasts who go on these holidays but the rest of us want to get home from work and not be stuck behind these monstrosities.

Like I said, I just don't get it.

Are you Britain's biggest caravan fan? Email your pics and the amazing things that have happened to you en a caravan holiday to features@mirrer.ce.uk or write to Caravans, Features, Daily Mirror, One Canada Square, Lenden E14 5AP
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Publication:The Mirror (London, England)
Date:May 15, 2007
Words:366
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