I LOVE HIM BUT THINK I MAY BE GAY.
Dear Coleen I HAD a baby with my boyfriend six months ago but I think I might be a lesbian. I've been with the father of my child for three years. He is a great man - the perfect partner and dad.
If I'm honest, I have never been super attracted to him but he is a wonderful guy and we really are best mates.
A couple of weeks ago, my best friend (who is an out-and-proud lesbian), came to stay at my house while my boyfriend was out of town working.
After one too many glasses of wine, one thing led to another and we had the most mindblowing sex. She made me feel like I've never felt before.
I feel terrible that I've cheated on my partner, but I can't stop thinking of her and I want my next girl-on-girl fix. What should I do? Coleen says IT SOUNDS to me as if you want to pursue these feelings with your friend or perhaps other girls, so you need to think long term.
Whether you decide you're lesbian or bisexual, the fact is it's something you need to explore.
While your partner sounds like a great friend, if you've never been physically attracted to him, it's unlikely you ever will be.
However, you have cheated on him and you mustn't think you can carry on sleeping with your friend and come home to him because he's a great partner and father - that's simply not fair. You can't have your cake and eat it.
You owe it to him to be honest - if you can't tell him you cheated, then you have to at least explain that you don't think the relationship is right and it's not working for you any more.
Then you have to focus on your child because, whatever you feel about each other, you still have to co-parent.
But don't expect it to be easy, he's not going to turn around and say: "OK, that's fine". He'll be terribly hurt and it'll take him time to get over it.