I'm beating a retreat from all those tweets.
Byline: Susan Riddell LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU
I'VE decided to take a break from Twitter.
I know, I know, moaning about Twitter is a cliched topic but let's be honest, what isn't cliched these days? In fact, the notion of an original thought is out the window as far as I'm concerned.
If you don't believe me, think of anything - anything at all - and type it into Google, then sit back and confirm to yourself that you're not that special.
With that cleared up, here's a list (because I only think in lists and 140 characters) of reasons I need a wee breather from Twitter: 1. It's making me paranoid I'd say that in everyday life I censor myself quite a lot.
Twitter used to be a nice haven from all that.
But now I find myself worrying about people's reactions to a tweet half way through writing it.
I'm not even some edgy featherruffler, but I see folk getting stick for the most ridiculous things and it makes me a bit apprehensive.
The thing is, I have no control over the thoughts that pop into my head.
They can be nice or they can be downright despicable. And sometimes the despicable ones make me laugh the most and I want to tell people. I used to just fire them up there.
I don't the hearts.
For example, a couple of years ago when it was pouring with rain, a despicable thought entered my head: "It's days like this I'm glad my dog is dead."
Star bashing was satisfying " I don't think I'd bother posting that today in case a bunch of animal activists waged a hate campaign against me and next thing I know Jon Ronson is at the door for an interview 2. It can be depressing I like to keep up with current events but having access to all the bad stuff happening in the world, in real time, in your pocket, may not be such a good thing, so I'm away to steep my head in a vat of sitcoms and babies and dogs for a week. It feels selfish - the good old Catholic guilt's kicking in.
more But what use am I to anyone if I'm curled up in a ball of anxiety about the latest horrific event? 3. Know-it-alls Twitter isn't really a place where you can admit ignorance, or just be plain old dumb.
People don't take kindly to you not having read every article printed that day or every book written ever.
They don't take kindly to spelling mistakes or punctuation faux pas.
Sometimes Twitter feels like an ungodly mix of the precocious geek and the school bully.
4. I don't like the wee hearts Star bashing was more satisfying. 5. It's hoovering up all my free time People are constantly moaning at me to get my face out of my phone.
When I do manage to put it down and partake in actual human interaction, I feel better instantly. INSTANTLY.
So I'm away to read a couple of books, watch a couple of films and speak to a couple of humans. I'm actually quite excited about it.
Please share this column on Twitter while I'm away.
TOMORROW DON'T MISS DES CLARKE'S COLUMN
I don't like the wee hearts. Star bashing was more satisfying
OFF I GO It's hard to switch off but it's worth it