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I'VE A CRUSH ON STRAIGHT MATE; DEAR COLEEN; Ireland's most straight-talking problem page.

Byline: Coleen Nolan

Dear Coleen

I'm 15 and gay. I came out to my friends ages ago and told my parents too, although they think I'm just going through a phase.

The thing is, I have a huge crush on a friend - but he's straight.

I've come to adore everything he does and we chat over music techniques - he plays the violin and I play piano and sing.

We talk when we compare notes in class but rarely chat outside class, although we hang around with the same friends.

Recently he found out about my crush and a "friend" told him all my cheesiest stories, including the time I forgot my words during a performance because I was staring at him in the audience!

When he found out, he didn't look at me for the rest of the day, which hurt a lot.

Should I talk to him and tell him not to worry? Or should I just let him process it for himself? I honestly have no clue what to do and I adore him completely.

I know I sound like an infatuated teen here but I'd be grateful for your advice.

Coleen says

Well, I think you know you're barking up the wrong tree by letting this infatuation get stronger. In your heart you know this boy is straight and you're not going to get anywhere.

Most of us have been infatuated with someone at some point in our lives and it does hurt when the feeling isn't mutual. That's life, I'm afraid.

If I were you, I'd concentrate on the music and enjoy the freedom of being 15 and knowing that, at some point later in life, you will meet someone who'll love you back. If it's bothering you that he knows about your crush then why not say "Whatever my friend told you, I know you're straight but I'd like to stay mates because we have loads in common musically." Keep it light-hearted.

The great thing is you've come out to your parents. Not everyone is as brave as you. And I'm pretty sure they'll come round to the fact it's not a phase.
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Title Annotation:Features; Opinion Column
Publication:The Mirror (London, England)
Date:Apr 28, 2014
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