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How job interviews have left me in limbo; Denis Kilcommons Looking at life with our ever-popular columnist

IWAS thinking of applying for a job at the new Turtle Bay restaurant that is to open at the bottom of King Street.

The chain has 18 places around the country and boasts a fun Caribbean-style party atmosphere and I have always been a Bob Marley fan.

Then I read the job interviews will be more like X Factor auditions with applicants expected to show their skills at such things as rapping and limbo dancing.

It was the limbo dancing that made me realise this was not for me.

I've no chance with my bad back.

Limbo dancing | But it did make me recall memorable job interviews I have had from the time as a youth when I applied for a position at a jewellery shop and the first question was: "Do you have a dark suit?" When I said no I was out of the door.

My interview for the Uganda Nation newspaper was conducted by airmail letter.

The editor asked if it was possible for me to take him a leather strop upon which to sharpen his razor.

When I replied I could I got the job and my plane ticket was in the post. He was delighted with the strop.

When I got my first book deal the managing director of the publishing house took me and my agent to lunch in Ealing to tell us he didn't like the ending.

I re-wrote it in a Chinese restaurant until he was satisfied.

Another publisher took me to a tapas bar in Bloomsbury to discuss a deal.

We got on so well we forgot about the deal and emerged hours later drunk as lords.

The daftest interview was at a newspaper where the editor perused my letter of application, is not for me grunted occasionally, asked rather obvious questions and ended with: "You do shorthand?" "Yes," I said. "Pitman's."

"Take this down," he said, and began to read the Leader from The Guardian newspaper at such a speed I was left at the starting gate.

At the end, he said: "Did you get all that?" "Yes," I lied. "Oh. Very good," he said. But never asked me to read it back.

I got the job.


Limbo dancing is not for me

Silver fox Paul Hollywood tickles some tastebuds

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Publication:Huddersfield Daily Examiner (Huddersfield, England)
Date:Sep 11, 2015
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