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How do I stop her from being needy? dear coleen; THE UK'S MOST STRAIGHT-TALKING PROBLEM PAGE.

Byline: Coleen Nolan

Dear Coleen,

I recently moved out of my parents' house to go to university and my mum is finding it really hard to adjust.

I have settled in well and made quite a few friends, but my mum still phones me every day, sometimes two or three times.

I don't answer her call, she just keeps ringing and ringing and I always end up answering because I don't want her to worry.

However, when I do speak to her, instead of just having a nice conversation, she starts interrogating me about what I've been doing and whether I'm going out that night.

I often find myself lying because if I do go out, she wants me to text her when I get home and I know she won't go off to sleep until I've sent her a message to let her know I'm back safe.

The situation is now getting out of control and it's stopping me from being able to get on with my life and enjoy being a student.

But how can I get her to ease off without upsetting her?

Coleen says..

I think with a bit more time, she will calm down - it's going to be hard to keep that up for the next three years!

This is new territory for you and for her, and she's just being an overanxious mum.

You might have finally flown the nest, but it doesn't mean she's going to stop being a mother hen!

While she gets used to things, is it too much at the end of the night to send her a little text to say you're home safe and sound?

As far as the constant calling goes, explain to her that when you're at uni and have classes to go to, you don't have time to speak to her two or three times a day.

Why not agree on set times when you arrange to call each other? Maybe you can take turns.

She will get used to you being away from home. I'm not saying the way she's behaving isn't a pain in the butt for you, because I'm sure it is, but try to be gentle with her!

You could speak to your dad, too, and explain how you feel, and maybe he can have a quiet word with your mum and help to reassure her.

If I don't answer, she just keeps on ringing
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Publication:The Mirror (London, England)
Date:Jan 18, 2013
Words:404
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