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How I earned one rupee by talking to an out- of- work gigolo.

FACEBOOK has little charm left for me, but with more than 800 unread messages I felt guilty about the clutter.

I could imagine my mother scowling and saying, " Clean it up now!" So one fine rainy day I decided to do a little spring cleaning and what do I find? A message from a man called Aah Ooh! Going by standard baby nomenclature, no mother would want to name her child after noises she made while in labour. So I halted my ruthless mail deletion mission and started reading the rest of the mail.

" Hell .... O cuty. Greetingz. I am a Gigolo, so if someone in your circle is looking for the same C* please let her inform. Looking forward to grab you there. " Below the introductory letter, Mr Aah Ooh had listed his chat IDs and cell numbers ( all Delhi numbers). Inspired by the great Indian rope trick, Mr Aah Ooh's professional name was ' Greatindiangigolo'.

THE HOMEWORK

I certainly don't intend to hire the services of a gigolo but the prospect of knowing more about them and their female patrons sounded exciting -- call it my journalistic instincts. So I decided to explore this further. I noted his email address and blocked Mr Aah Ooh permanently from my Facebook. I created a new Gmail ID as Avantika Rathode -- inspired by the heroine of a student film I had scripted in college. She was a serial husband killer, who married rich men, killed them and ran away with their money. Obviously the sequel would have her stinking rich, alone, bored and looking for excitement. She was called ' avlooove' in cyberspace.

An excited avlooove then shot a crisp professional mail to Mr Aah Ooh. " Hi I saw your profile on Facebook. I wanna know more about your services ." There, I had written my first mail to a gigolo.

As I looked smugly at the screen, a reply popped up. " If you are a journalist, looking for a story, I am sorry as too many magazines have already published.... I communicate through sms which u can send anytime. Or else just drop me a mail. As of my services ... I don't give oral. " Oops! Did I sound like a journalist? I decided not to give up and replied back; I praised him for his PR skills and assured him I had nothing to do with newspapers. I said I couldn't send him an SMS as I didn't give out my number to strangers and asked him if he would do a striptease at a party.

SUGAR MOMS PLEASE

"At the age of 39 don't you think I am not so young to do a striptease? Now I am only looking for a few matured women to offer my services." He is 39! I gasped. Was he an out-of work desperate gigolo?

Again that curiosity! "Aren't you a little too old to be a gigolo? Do you have any other job or are you a full time gigolo?" I probed.

"You are free to say I am too old. But what I prefer to say is that I am XXXperienced! Itz not a question of being young or old, women prefer to hire my services because I know how to love and please women by all meanz." He claimed sex-starved women preferred younger studs. But not all women were sex- starved and these were the ones he satisfied " physically and mentally". In this perform- or- perish world, there were gigolos talking about mental satisfaction... strange! Was he really a gigolo or was he just fooling around with women for his own satisfaction... I tried to find out. He might as well be a middle- aged, hen- pecked husband looking for some cyberspace thrill.

FACT OR FICTION

I googled out ' Gigolos Delhi and greatindiangigolo' and found that he indeed existed -- he had advertised himself on various web portals. A little more investigation threw up the fact that well- educated men were taking up prostitutions because of the money offered. And I remembered the Australian man who had once told me: " What Thailand is to men, India is to women. There's plenty of sex available for them. And a lot of it for free." With these points in my mind, I shot another mail enquiring about Mr Aah Ooh's charges, the reason he was in this profession and the number of women he had ' pleased by all meanz'.

SHOW ME THE MONEY

" Right now, I'm not attending clients, as women are getting as much satisfaction from younger men without paying a fee." My Australian friend was right, I realised. " I am looking for some sugar momz only. I am in this profession simply coz I love to please women by all meanz. It is quite paying as I was getting 5K + all XXXpences for first 24 Hourz and Mzximum 3 Roundz. As for as numbers may be 700+ " I did a quick arithmetic.

He would have extracted ` 35,00,000 from the 700 women he ' pleazd'. By this time, I was quite tired of playing Avantika Rathode so I did not reply. A few days later he wrote again.

" What happened? I was thinking of having a long and lonely walk with you on a hill in rain. "

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

" Too many flash floods happening, " I wrote and nearly spilt the beans about myself. Instead I said, " You talk too much for a gigolo. I am not a sugar mom... just 26. Are you still interested? If this is a prank please tell me ." " I am too old to play games ," he sounded like a tired old hag.

" It doesn't matter if you are 26. I am not getting clients due to self- imposed restrictions... so why not? Any chance of SMS? " So now he was okay with 20- somethings!

THE PHONE BOOTH

I decided to call him from one of the paid telephones at Connaught Place. Of the eight phones I tried, only one was in working condition. I picked up the phone strained my ear to hear the dialtone and put in the coin and dialled the number.

" Hello," a voice called out from the other side. " You asked me to call you," I said trying not to panic as two drunkards were hovering around me. And then without any notice, he hung up.

I was furious. I took all the pains to call a gigolo and he hung up on me! As the smell of alcohol from the goons became stronger by the second, I banged the receiver and lo.. the ` 1 coin I had inserted came out of the slot along with one more someone had inserted before me. I quickly pocketed both and walked off ignoring the goons who were muttering under their alcohol- loaded breaths.

The call hadn't gone too well, but I had earned a rupee just by attempting to talk to a ' gigolo' ( if he was one)!

anindita.choudhury@mailtoday.in

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Publication:Mail Today (New Delhi, India)
Date:Sep 8, 2010
Words:1170
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