How Donald Trump's father made him suffer.
If you have tears prepare to shed them now. My heart bleeds for the agonies suffered by Donald Trump. The man who would be president of the United States confessed this week in New Hampshire that he had a stingy, tight-fisted dad who only loaned him a measly million dollars to get started in the real estate business. There wasn't a dry eye in the audience as the women, especially, wept copiously after hearing this hard luck story. The gutsy guy was accorded a standing ovation for having fought and overcome such dark adversity. "It was a tough life," said the poor lad, citing how daddy's meanness made him struggle as a youth. "I didn't have it easy," said Trump as two women fainted with emotion at his heartrending story. He said he had not really forgiven his father for keeping his purse strings so tightly closed and shared with the people who had gathered for the televised show Today, how hard his start up had been with just this pittance. The American League for Protection against Cheapskate Parents demanded severe action against Trump Senior's estate for the brutal scarring of his son's psyche. "What sort of thoughtless and worthless father would leave only a million dollars for his son," said a spokesman for the league. "We are shocked and amazed that Donald has kept this secret for so long. We feel for him and condemn his dad for such Scrooge-like conduct." All over America support has been spontaneous and there is also a call to cancel Father's Day in deference to the piteous state Donald was left in, fending for himself with just small change in his pocket. It is rumoured he had to downsize from a suite to a double room at the Waldorf Astoria. His dad, Frederick Trump died in 1999 and was, in his final years, suffering from memory loss. It is possible that he forgot to give his son the other $9 million he had promised. Lawyers and ambulance chasers were believed to be making a beeline for New Hampshire to see if they could manufacture a case against the estate of Frederick Trump for compensation for the suffering undergone by his son. As the event concluded a battery of medical experts was monitoring Trump to ensure that there were no side-effects following the revisit to his past. 'Mr Trump is resting now,' said a doctor, 'He is stable but the confession has taken a lot out of him. We are watching his condition carefully." The American people themselves were reeling with the import of the revelation. His PR agent Al Fixit said at a press conference over the phone that Trump was overwhelmed by the love and affection showered on him by the public who had been so moved by his tragic circumstances. The common understands his pain. 'How would you feel,' said Al, 'If your Dad just left you a pathetic million bucks,huh?"
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