DEARLY beloved, gathered here today to join two people in holy matrimony will be... Lady Gaga.
She says she wants to be ordained as a minister to marry her gay friends now legislation allowing same-sex marriages in New York has gone through.
She says: "My yoga instructor Trisha, a lesbian, has lived with her partner for years now and they have a beautiful daughter. They asked me to marry them. So, yes. I'm going to do it.
"It's their private wedding but they're very proud of it. They've waited a long time to legitimise their love. Congratulations to Mama T and T Mama."
Jubilant Gaga, 25, adds: "As an activist, it's always about being positive and honouring and being excited about the small steps we're taking towards equality."
But the brides are going to have to step up their dresses.
..to join this woman and this woman in holy matrimony