Printer Friendly

Hip, hip, but no hooray: fat can sneak up on its victims in a number of subtle ways - and places.

You know you've gained weight if:

* The steering wheel seems closer to you than it used to.

* Extra Large is a little small. * The buckle mark on your belt has moved several holes closer to the end.

* You hardly ever wear a suit you used to like because it doesn't seem as comfortable anymore.

* You wear a solid color, usually dark blue, if you're going anyplace important.

* When you buy anything with stripes, the stripes go up and down, not around.

* Your toes seem to hit the front of your shoes more than they used to.

* It doesn't seem to matter if you have one more dish of ice cream today as long as you're going to start losing weight tomorrow.

* You'd just as soon not have your picture taken. You aren't interested in looking at old ones of yourself, either.

* The aisles in the supermarket are narrower than they used to be.

* You don't weigh yourself every morning anymore.

* It seems as though they don't sew buttons on as well as they used to.

* You're wearing your hair longer to make your face look thinner.

* Thin people make you sick.

* You really shouldn't have another . . . but you always do.

* The mattress needs turning more often.

* You fold your arms or hold something like a newspaper on your lap when you're seated, talking to someone, so they won't notice your stomach.

* You wait for the next elevator instead of squeezing on one that's full.

* You're nervous about putting something new in the washing machine for fear it will shrink.

* Airline seats are a lot smaller than they used to be.

* They don't seem to be putting as good glass in mirrors as they used to.

* You meet people you never liked from your class in high school and they say, "Gosh, I never would have recognized you!"

* You have to turn sideways to walk between two cars in the parking lot at the mall.

* You never wear a sweater tucked into your pants anymore.

* The bus seems more crowded.

* When you're eating and something falls off your fork, it no longer lands on the floor because it hits your tie on the way down.

* Your best friend stops and looks at you one day and says, "Boy. Are you fat!" A
COPYRIGHT 1988 Saturday Evening Post Society
No portion of this article can be reproduced without the express written permission from the copyright holder.
Copyright 1988 Gale, Cengage Learning. All rights reserved.

Article Details
Printer friendly Cite/link Email Feedback
Author:Rooney, Andy
Publication:Saturday Evening Post
Date:Apr 1, 1988
Words:381
Previous Article:AIDS patient warns others.
Next Article:For pets' ears only.
Topics:


Related Articles
HIP HIP HOORAY; Private hospital's invitation for cheap birthday ops.
/C O R R E C T I O N - Coors Light/.
Some light-hearted verse on the curse of Cardiff's seagulls.

Terms of use | Copyright © 2016 Farlex, Inc. | Feedback | For webmasters