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Here come the waterworks: keep calm and carry on.

Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: Every time my girlfriend and I have sex, when she makes me "go"--I pee. I don't know what's going on!--Pee Pee Patty

Lipstick: Well, I do. Are you sure it's pee, darlin? Maybe you're just "Old Faithful" when it comes to ejaculation. It's been known to catch women by surprise--like a flash flood in Arizona. Do some Googling, then some ogling, to see if your girlie geyser is simply showing off.

Dipstick: Lipstick is G-spot-on, PPP! You're not peeing, friend, you're spouting elusive lesbian love juice--female ejaculate. Like you, many women who ejaculate think they're peeing, because it's kept hidden from us by the male-dominated health industry. Just to reassure you that you're not urinating, you might want to know that although some women do have urine leakage during sex, it's often during foreplay, not at the moment of orgasm. Don't be thrown off by the name, either. Female ejaculate may trickle or spurt. It may be a few drops or a flood. It may come before, during or after orgasm. It's not the same for everyone, but one thing is certain--it's not pee.

Dear Lipstick and Dipstick: I don't know how to label myself. This is going to sound horrible, but I don't really understand bisexuality. I always felt that a person should just choose. Now that I am more active in the LGBT community, I realize it may not be that simple. I always considered myself straight. A penis turns me on and, so far, a vagina has yet to. I have never been sexually attracted to a woman. I simply find them beautiful and great to talk to. But lately, I notice that I've been flirting with women. I might even kiss one. I am a virgin, so I've never been with a man. I am an actor, so I have kissed guys and girls on stage, but it was only in character. I was really turned on when kissing the guy, but only felt something once for a woman. Under the circumstances, I'm not so sure if those were my feelings or the character's. I'm a bit confused. I would be comfortable in a relationship, but the sex part makes me feel strange, like I wouldn't like it. It makes me feel terrible, because if I act on my attractions, I may not mean it. Like, say, there's a girl I'm talking to, and then halfway down the line I'm like. Nope, I like dudes. I just don't want to do something stupid and hurt someone. I think I'm just going to have to put myself out there and find out, but I'm confused. Help, please--Messed Up Missy

Lipstick: Wow. While reading this question, suddenly I feel like I am sitting here with a perm, in old-school Guess jeans and Jelly sandals, avoiding my algebra homework. It's a blast from my past. If I'd had the courage, I could've written this letter back in high school. Your experiences, your curiosity, your fears were my own. In light of that, I'd like to give you a big high-five for your bravery. Who says you have to decide on a label now--or at all? Labels, shmabels. I've got great news for you: Limboland is temporary. Eventually, you will be pulled in one direction or the other. When that happens, it won't necessarily mean you'll be exclusively straight or gay. Bisexuality is real, and sexuality is a swinging pendulum. If you do figure it out today, give yourself permission to change your mind tomorrow. That is the wonderful thing about sexuality, when it's fully realized. It's yours and no one else's. My advice to you now is to be open and stay curious. Likewise, be gentle with yourself, and don't judge others, either. Tread lightly when someone wants to get serious, and keep the lines of communication open. Be honest with them, speak your truth, and go with the flow.

Dipstick: Lipstick, you had a perm? Times sure have changed in the 20 years since you came out. But one thing hasn't. Sex and sexual attraction are puzzling, especially if you're a virgin. I'm not sure how, but some of us do figure it out before our cherries are pitted. But for most people, it takes being involved in real-life relationships before the essence of our sexual orientation is revealed. Here's a tip. Don't think about vaginas or penises or what turns you on--but, rather, think about the people you want to get close to. Who do you want to kiss? Spend your Saturday night with? Take to the prom (even if you're too chicken to ask)? At this point in your life, it really sounds like you could be happy doing that with both boys and girls. Like Lipstick says, quit worrying about labels and listen to your heart.



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Date:Nov 1, 2013
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