Haiku news you can use.

VERSE CASE SCENARIOS

Give them 17 sylla- bles, they'll give you the world. Taking brevity as the soul of wit, as well as a necessity in these fast-paced times, the alternative weekly Tacoma (Wash.) Reporter began in January presenting "Haiku News." Haiku, traditional three-line Japanese poems with five, seven, then five syllables per line, penned by the editorial staff, appear on Page 6 every issue, attacking the ancient art of warmed-over news.

The dish on Tacoma's official slogan, "America's No. 1 Wired City" (a self-bestowed title), can now be served simply, yet with measured aplomb: "Most wired city? Us./ Basis for such a claim? None./ Competition? Vast." Upon a visit to Tacoma by a bubble-gum boy band, the editors queried: "'N Sync: if I throw/ you in the ocean, do you/ promise not to float?"

And where else are health briefs combined with reminders of one's own mortality: "Flu hits T-town hard/ Should have got your shots sooner/ Soon you will be dead." And that's nothing to sneeze --haiku kerchoo -- at.