HOO EVEN READS GWYN'S GOOP?
GYWNETH Paltrow spends so much time moaning about people slagging off her beyond slag-off-able website Goop, it's a wonder she can find a minute to write it. (Mind you, in fairness, it probably doesn't take as long as that.)
This week she bleated: "How could people hate me, my intentions or what I'm trying to do?"
I only get two thirds of a page, so there's no way I can answer that question fully, Gwyn. But give me your email address, clear your inbox, and I'll happily fill you right in.
In the meantime - three reasons to be going on with...
1 In the same interview, when asked about your husband, you said: "It doesn't behoove us to be a public couple." Who the hell speaks like that? The only place I expect to see behooves is on behorses.
2 Your irritating website is universally panned and yet you keep on Gooping. Relentlessly. You send weekly mailouts about stuff we can all relate to, like the best boutique hotels to stay in if you find yourself in LA or the fact your daughter calls adults "grownies". (Coincidentally, a word that also describes the noises I inadvertently made when I read that sentence.) Why don't you just stop? It's not like you need the money, is it? Actually, does Goop even make any money? If not, OHMYGOD WOMAN, ENOUGH ALREADY, HAVE SOME PRIDE!
3 Any friend of Madonna's...