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HELP ME TO KILL MYSELF; Tracie's note to sister in cell.

Tormented Tracie Andrews begged her younger sister Donna: Please help me to kill myself.

The dramatic plea was made when 23-year-old Donna visited Andrews at the secure psychiatric unit in Birmingham where she was held after the murder of her fiance Lee Harvey.

Andrews, 28, slipped Donna a note.

Donna told The Mirror: "Tracie had her arms around me and I felt her put a screwed-up ball of paper in my hand behind my back.

"I was petrified because I didn't know what it was. I didn't know if Tracie was going to say she did kill Lee after all.

"I managed to slip the note into my back pocket and didn't look at it until we got outside.

"I ran into a toilet to open it and then I started to cry.

"In the letter Tracie wasn't confessing to a murder - she was asking me to help her kill herself.

"She wanted me to smuggle her some more pills and said I was the only one she could trust not to tell anyone. She begged me to help her.

"I was in a terrible state. I didn't know what to do. I went outside and saw our solicitor, Tim Robinson, and I knew I had to show him the letter. He told me I'd done the right thing."

Andrews was jailed for life on Tuesday for murdering 25-year-old Lee.

She still insists he was stabbed by a road-rage maniac on a country lane near their home at Alvechurch, Worcestershire, last December.

And her loyal family are convinced that two suicide notes prove her innocence.

Andrews wrote the letters before taking 200 tablets.

But there was no confession of murder.

Her mother Irean said: "Lee's death was not a secret she could have taken to the grave with her. She would have had to get it off her chest.

"It was not a cry for help. No one could take 30 temazepam, 150 aspirin and a cocktail of distalgesic and paracetamol and expect to survive."

In a last letter to her daughter, Andrews wrote: "My precious little sweetheart, I love you more than life itself.

"Please promise me you will always be a golden little girl and be strong for mommy.

"You are the most beautiful, kind, loving little girl in the world and I am so lucky that you were all mine.

"I will always be with you. God bless you darling. Have a happy life, I love you so much. Your mommy XXX."

In a letter to her family, Andrews asked for songs by Celine Dion and Anita Baker to be played at her funeral.

She wrote: "My family, I am so sorry to do this to you and leave you all with my pain.

"But please understand that my life ended that night and I just want to go to sleep. I love you all so much and I will always be with you.

"Please take care of my precious little girl, keep her safe and love her.

"Please play Celine Dion at my funeral because that was our song. And Anita Baker.

"God bless you all. Please understand. I love you all, Tracie XXX."

Andrews later admitted to forensic psychiatrist Dr Arden Tomison that she decided to take her own life after going back to the flat she shared with Lee, seeing the bed they'd just bought and smelling his aftershave "one last time."

She was within minutes of death when she slumped in her mother's arms.

Irean said: "Although to this day she has no recollection of this, she walked into the kitchen and said to me 'I love you, mum'. Then she collapsed. We were told later that if we hadn't got her to hospital when we did, she would have died.

"For 24 hours, it was touch and go whether she would have permanent liver damage.

"She was in a terrible state, half- unconscious and mumbling and crying through this haze. She was saying: 'I want to be with Lee.'

"That again convinced me she was telling the truth about Lee. She didn't know what she was saying, but she never once said anything that incriminated her."

In the months that followed Irean, Andrews' stepfather AlanCarter and Donna all pleaded with her to confess if she had killed Lee.

Irean told how she begged Andrews to come clean "for the sake of her daughter."

"We were in the bedroom and Tracie was crying," said Irean.

"I was cuddling her and that's when I said: 'Look, Tracie, have you got something to tell me? You can talk to me, it won't go any further. I won't even tell Alan.

"If you tell me now, we can try and sort this out. But she said: 'Mum, I told you the truth. I may have got a few things muddled up because I was in shock, but I didn't kill Lee.' ''

The suicide notes were withheld from the jury at the trial - despite a police admission that she meant to kill herself.

They may now become a key part of her appeal.

Stepdad Alan said: "We will fight on. We will never give up on Tracie. We'll always be there for her."
COPYRIGHT 1997 MGN LTD
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Copyright 1997 Gale, Cengage Learning. All rights reserved.

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Author:Kerr, Jane
Publication:The Mirror (London, England)
Date:Jul 31, 1997
Words:866
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