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Byline: Nigel Nelson

BEARDY weirdy Labour MP Paul Flynn is 76 and believes in free speech and democracy. He also believes he's a babe magnet.

Women, he says, find "even the most superficial, unattractive and misshapen MPs" irresistibly desirable.

To avoid temptation Mr Flynn recommends hard constituency work, regular cold baths and going to bed "thinking of the immediacy of death".

But he can give up turning his wobbly bits into icicles and contemplating the afterlife because he'll find he's languishing at No600 of 648 in a league table of MPs people want to sleep with. Well, he won't find out himself - access to - the website that compiles these statistics - has been blocked on all Parliamentary computers by killjoy Commons authorities.

Website users are shown photos of two MPs and asked to click on the one they'd prefer to have sex with.

The more clicks an MP gets, the higher he or she goes up the rankings. Last time I looked Wirral West Tory Esther McVey (a personal favourite) was No1 ahead of Castle Point's Rebecca Harris and Portsmouth North's Penny Mordaunt.

Labour don't get a look in until No7 with Liverpool Wavertree's Luciana Berger. And Tory Zac Goldsmith - known by my daughter simply as The Hotty - comes in at No17.

I'm surprised Shrewsbury MP Daniel Kawczynski is at No24. Have you seen the size of him, girls? He's 6ft 8'ins. Heightwise, I mean.

MPs complain the website demeans them. But it provides a harmless diversion for their researchers working late on their Private Members' Bills.

And it's ironic the Mother of Parliaments, which rates freedom of expression as the cornerstone of democracy, should be as silly and sanctimonious as to close the site down.

Mr Flynn has a passion for free speech.

So perhaps he would now care to champion this cause.


HOT AND NOT: McVey, left, and Flynn
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:The People (London, England)
Date:Aug 7, 2011
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