Growth? It's spin from Kim-Il-Cam.
IF you ever wondered what it would be like living in North Korea, you'll get a glimpse on Thursday.
Brace yourself for David Cameron and Conservative MPs howling like hyenas on ecstasy tablets.
A pimple of growth in the pot-holed economy will be falsely hailed as a giant step on the road to a new Eldorado.
Downgraded George Osborne, an immodest Chancellor with much to be modest about, will wrongly claim divine justification for his selfdefeating austerity.
The spin will be deceitful nonsense - growth predicted in the most recent quarter.
That's the economic equivalent of a consolatory tenner after you've missed out on the Lotto jackpot.
Britain remains a long way from the 1% leap in growth inherited from Labour in the three months between April and June 2010 - before Osborne squeezed the life out of the recovery.
But with Operation Con, the Tories will pretend all is well when it isn't. This k' i fi f week's anaemic figures are of dubious parentage anyway - and in our current doldrums even a strangled economy will occasionally display a tiny "dead cat" bounce.
The divide in Britain is between the mythical rosy economy that exists in Cameron and Osborne's heads and the daily grind of the Real Britain endured by the strivers and hardworking families the PM takes for fools.
Wages are rising by far less than prices, emptying purses and wallets.
Everything from energy to food is going up at a painful rate. Living standards are declining year-on-year while freezing child benefit and the value of tax credits all adds to the pain.
Cameron's millionaire posh boys have no idea and care even less about life at the other end of the Tory telescope.
Unemployment remains higher than when Cameron entered No 10 yet last week he pretended we were in the midst of a golden period.
Labour's sudden lack of confidence leaves it struggling to counter Cameron's plastic grin.
Ed Miliband needs to get back on track, and fast, after sparking a Labour civil war which only distracts from fighting against Cameron and winning an election. If not he will never be forgiven by those he lets down.
Dave il-Cameron and the Right-wing machine will pump out the relentless propaganda.
He has created an economy which for many means food banks, charity shops and rip-off payday lenders.
Desperate Britons up to their eyes in debt are lectured to stand taller when they're being crushed by austerity.
Thursday's hype is only for the criminally gullible.
ALL THIS HYPE IS GLIMPSE OF TORY NORTH KOREA