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TAMMY MORRIS, who rocked Ben Affleck's world with a private lap dance in a Vancouver club, has described Gwyneth Paltrow as a "pipecleaner with teabags for t***".

Affleck famously dumped Gwynnie when she told him she wanted his babies, and she responded by saying his perfect woman was "a lapdancer with a Budweiser in each hand". A source close to Morris said: "She says she wishes it was Gwyneth Paltrow who was hurting, after her mean comments about lapdancers. Tammy says at least J-Lo's a real woman."

SCOTS song- writer Graeme Lyle has added a second show in Largs in aid of Greenock's Ardowan Hospice. Graeme, who found fame with Gallagher & Lyle in the Seventies and penned hits for stars such as Tina Turner, will perform at Largs Barrfield Theatre on November 13. A show the following night has sold out.

IT may not be on a par with Profumo, but Arnie Schwarzenegger's bid to become California Governor has been hit by a scandal - Freddy Kreuger star Robert Englund has revealed how he once had to rub oil on Arnie's nipples.

DANCES With Wolves star Kevin Costner has turned DJ, mixing his own music compilations. Costner presents friends and family with taped mega-mixes of his favourite tunes for birthday and Christmas gifts.

He says: "I'm listening to Supreme Beings of Leisure, Robbie Robertson, Bruce

Springsteen and a lot of Sade right now. I make my own mix tapes for when I travel."

AL PACINO is splashing out thousands of dollars on soundproofing his New York apartment to pacify his angry neighbours. The 63 year old has had his wrist slapped for disturbing his neighbours with his passion for opera music. A friend said: "He's spent a small fortune having his walls lined with special padding so he can play his music and not worry about some picky neighbour kicking up."

ELVIS PRESLEY is set to achieve another No.1 single with the remix of his track Rubberneckin' by Paul Oakenfold. Following the success of JXL's A Little Less Conversation, the single will be released on September 22. "My hope is that the remix will introduce Elvis's music to millions of new, young listeners and create a new generation of fans," said Oakie.
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Publication:Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:Aug 9, 2003
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