Goldfinger's laser and cats' claws.
Speaking of Muse Frannie (who gets to keep her claws, as we promised), here's a scientific report that conjures memories of the James Bond villain, Auric Goldfinger: "Evaluation of short-term limb function following unilateral carbon dioxide laser or scalpel onychectomy in cats," as reported in the Journal of the American Veterinary Medical Association (Vol. 230, No. 3).
While Goldfinger tried to use an industrial laser to vaporize Agent 007's manhood, veterinary researchers at Iowa State University used a medical laser to declaw 10 cats, and good old fashioned scalpels to declaw 10 more, for comparison.
As expected, the laser onychectomy procedures were relatively bloodless and required no tourniquets or bandages on the cats' paws. (James Bond's castration might have been the same because the laser promotes rapid healing with a sort of charbroiling effect.) The researchers reported: "In the immediate postoperative period, cats in the laser surgery group were less lame and arguably had less pain than cats in the scalpel group."
Thanks, Doc, we'll keep that in mind. You might recall that Goldfinger had a cat, too. A yellow one. Rent the DVD to see what's worse than losing your claws.