Getting lost in the tracks of my ears; co.uk SATURDAY 20.07.2019 DAILY MIRROR 13 DM1ST features@mirror.co.uk Frank and fearless... (and funny) BRIAN READE.

Byline: BRIAN READE

I'd like to address this to the teenager who stopped me in the street this week, pointed at my ears and asked me to take my hearing aid out before requesting directions to the train station.

I was too embarrassed to tell you at the time but those white metallic things dangling from my lugholes weren't Hear4U Phonak rechargeables, but AirPods.

I was listening to music, you see.

Because rather than being a deaf old codger I'm actually down with the kids. Even if the track at the moment you interrupted me was Glen Campbell's Wichita Lineman.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I hope you missed your train because you didn't hear it coming.