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Football: THESE YANKS KNOW HOW TO KICK BUTT.

Byline: ANDY DUNN

AMERICAN sport is barking mad.

Here is a selection of items from one edition of a New York newspaper on a dull Tuesday morning.

Chubby Checker's daughter fails to lead her college side to the national title ... but Yannick Noah's son does ... baseball record-breaker Barry Bonds has a syringe thrown at him ... ace quarterback Daunte Culpepper is cleared of lewd behaviour on a boat orgy ... the topless model wife of Baltimore Orioles star Kris Benson withdraws her threat to sleep with the entire team ... two pitchers argue about who should take the field to the sound of Metallica's Enter Sandman. And, trust me,' that was a quiet day.

But what American sportspeople and commentators do better than most is cut through the crap.

I watched Jenson Button's latest Formula One effort in Melbourne on American television.

As he tootled around (before the fitting, engine-exploding end to his race) one commentator turned, to the other and mocked: "Is there any room left in the Jenson Button book of excuses?"'

Probably not, but I'm sure Martin Brundle, Mark Blundell and the rest of the cronies on ITV will find some.
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Title Annotation:Sport
Publication:The People (London, England)
Date:Apr 9, 2006
Words:191
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