Football: 'Devlin his mind had a real weight on'.
MOST players in Scotland will get a wee breather this weekend thanks to Scotland's clash with Georgia at Hampden.
With only a few games being played across the divisions it's a timely break before the big push.
And we need it badly. This season has dished out harder hits than a Spanish policeman's baton.
But the lack of match action hasn't stopped managers sticking to their usual training routine.
And some clubs have even arranged closed-door friendlies for the players who have been sitting on the bench every week or been sent to Custardpiesville.
The standard of training can drop when you know there's a free Saturday at the end of it.
But there's no let-up in the antics or banter if you have a good bunch of lads.
Take Brechin's training regime last week for instance. The lads were gutted after a 2-1 defeat by Raith last weekend saw the Kirkcaldy men leapfrog us into third position.
But the disappointment was quickly forgotten - the team spirit within our dressing-room is arguably the best I have ever experienced.
Our full-back Richard Walker is studying for a sports science degree and has the gaffer's permission to use the players as guinea pigs.
His latest experiment is to calculate the weight and body-mass index of every player - so he can work out the percentage of fat we have on our body.
Brechin's Billy Bunter brigade - captained by Stuart Callaghan - were horrified by these tests and wrapped themselves in cling film before Monday night's training in the hope it would help their cause.
But it didn't do the trick and midfielder Scott Devlin was so appalled by his results that he trained for an extra hour.
Scott was DISGUSTED with himself when the scales revealed he had put on a stone since his last weigh-in.
He vowed never to eat a Domino's pizza or have a tipple again.
But I can let you into a secret Scottie boy. One of the lads was pushing down on the back of the scales with his foot - adding at least a stone and a half.
Treat yourself to a 12-inch pizza and a crate of lager to celebrate big man.
The stories that fly around the Brechin dressing-room regularly leave me in stitches.
Edinburgh boy Darren Smith told me a cracking tale last week about his experience at the CIS Cup Final between Hibs and Killie. He revealed how one poor Kilmarnock fan happened to find himself lost among hundreds of Hibees.
The hard nut, dressed in his blue and white regalia, chose to hurl abuse and wave hand signals at a pub occupied by a sea of green and white.
But he soon realised he was outnumbered as the abuse flew back at him.
The Killie fan decided to leg it but was greeted by a lamp post that bounced him across the pavement.
The cheer from the Easter Road faithful was almost as big as the one that echoed round Hampden when Rob Jones lifted the cup.
Most of the comedy moments at Glebe Park come from our Skeletor lookalike Scott Walker.
The big man received a call last week from his doctor who urged him to make an appointment due to "complexities" involving his recent vasectomy.
Scott questioned these "complexities" and the doctor hastily revealed that the ex-St Mirren star's wife had fallen pregnant.
Scott was understandably enraged at this news and shouted down the phone: "Well it isn't mine!" But after he picked himself off the floor Scott soon recognised the voice of this barer of bad news.
It was none other than Real Radio wind-up merchant Robin Galloway. Former St Mirren player Barry McLaughlin was soon revealed as the mastermind of the hoax. And he certainly succeeded in his brazen bid to embarrass Scott live on the radio.
The radio scam has left Barry's friendship with the big man as thin as the hair on my dome. Be warned, there WILL be repercussions.