Foodie shows serve up mixed menu.
I'VE been watching two food shows this week which couldn't be more different.
One served up delicious fare in genteel surroundings and made my mouth water.
The other made me feel slightly sick, but like I was Nigella Lawson compared to their culinary ability.
This was a new series of the omnipresent Come Dine With Me, with a fresh bunch of hosts from Brighton, where they proved to be far more concerned about style than cooking skills.
Artist Pasha du Valentine (hmm, made-up name, possibly?) burned her mushrooms.
She then made the most disgusting blancmange in the shape of breasts.
It didn't look too appetising, though transvestite Ana/Antoine (who wants The Birdie Song played at her funeral) might have been a tad overdramatic when she said "I thought I was doing to die" when eating it.
Sweet shop owner John didn't fare much better with his French apple tart, which he spat out, saying "it tastes like the worst cake in the world."
Then he challenged his guests to a belching competition.
Thankfully, there was none of that sort of uncouth behaviour on The Great British Bake Off, the terribly middle-class show hosted by Mel and Sue. We wouldn't want judge Mary Berry to get embarrassed.
I'm rooting for Solihull's Jasminder, but I did feel sorry for departing contestant Jonathan. We knew his cookie had crumbled when his bread failed to rise.
"I just wish it had more volume, like a Diana Ross perm," he lamented in his squeaky little voice.