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Fiona Ryan's Column: Pity the poor yuppies when we all go bust.

Byline: Fiona Ryan

Don't look now but there goes the economy. With the discovery of Foot and Mouth disease in North Louth and the American economy doing a good impression of a Kamikazi pilot, billions have already been wiped off Irish stocks and shares.

But before it starts raining stockbrokers and bankers down at the Irish Financial Services Centre, let's look at the silver lining in the big black economic cloud currently threatening to rain on our parade - the one that wasn't cancelled - and ask ourselves how bad would it be if the economy crashes. Bad, sure, but there is an up side.

No more smug yuppies in jeeps with bull bars ploughing through city streets like they were on the Serengetti plain treating the rest of the population like we were particularly stubborn wildebeast as they chat to each other on their satellite mobiles.

"Yah, Jerome, like hi, I think I just got one who tried to cross the road."

Cue snorting laughter.

An economic crash would be an ideal opportunity to comfort others especially 20-year-old bankers who had been earning pounds 40k a year.And those consoling words would be: "That'll be a large fries with the burger," - quick check on the name tag - "And make it quick, Jerome".

Of course, you will be broke too, but the satisfaction of knowing he was once loaded will be priceless.

As for the tourism industry, if that goes belly-up, you know what that will mean - no more tourists.

Yes, yes, yes... Pubs will have to stop charging pounds 3 a pint and restaurants will be falling over themselves to entice you in.

Let's be honest, a booming economy has done nothing to change our two tier health system, as for housing don't even get me started.

I don't want to see the economy crash, but if it does I'm on for a chorus of Always Look on the Bright Side of Life and a pint that will cost under three quid.
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:The People (London, England)
Date:Mar 25, 2001
Words:331
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