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Feeling a bit short-changed on the bag front.

Iam always one to help a worthy cause so you can imagine my concern at learning of a national shortage of two pence coins. A notice in a city centre Post Office appealed to the public to dig out what two pences they could find and bring them in to be exc hanged for higher denomination coins or notes.

All I had to do, said the notice, was ask for some plastic moneybags which were available free from counter staff.

"If I could ask one small favour, sir," said the pretty young lady from the PO, "if you don't use all of these moneybags can you bring back the spares because there's a shortage of those too?"

Acharity event was recently held attended by a certain businessman - who shall remain anonymous - with a somewhat blemished background. The event was also attended by Judge Michael Argyll.

When the two met the businessman apparently told the judge: "We have met before."

"When was that?" replied the judge.

"When you sent me down for 12 months," said the businessman.

"Then you must have deserved it," replied the quick-tongued judge.

Never let it be said that "Cuddly" Ken Clarke harbours any grudges against the man who filched the keys from Number 11 from him. As he admitted to a group of assembled Suits at the International Convention Centre that Gordon Brown might as well be him - minus of course a belly, cigar and a pair of brown loafers.

Cuddly even admitted that Gordon was with him in espousing a few bright ideas, like trying to avoid boom and bust... blah blah. Shame then that wee Gordon was busy "doing most of the things I would not have done and making things worse. In fact the only thing I can congratulate him on is converting John Prescott to privatisation."

However while Ken may be fan of faint praise, the wonder of wordless wit must be David Blunkett. At the same bash guess whose hand crept upwards when asked who was able to touch type?
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Author:Bright, John
Publication:The Birmingham Post (England)
Date:Jun 19, 1998
Previous Article:Busy Birmingham? The city is a victim of its own success; Demand seems to be outstripping supply in our city. John Daniels wonder s why?
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