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Fanzone: Ask the Prof.

MY son Young Frankenstein and were discussing Freudian analysis and the sky-high price of a poke of chips the other day when our good friend Dr Gillian McKeith dropped in for a chin wag .

'Do you think it's true you are what you eat?' we asked her. She told us she couldn't possibly say because she didn't want to be labelled a stool pigeon.

If only the TV food guru could have been on hand to help persuade this week's correspondents to cut back on raw meat.

Q: I have this terrible compulsion to kick people in the head when they're lying on the ground and it's playing havoc with my new job. I'm not getting any younger and am desperate to make a good impression. How can I curb this? - Mr Angry, Govan.

A: Anger management classes might work and suggest you seek advice from some of your predecessors who have passed these with flying colours. I'm sure Graeme Souness could put you on the right road. Failing that, try playing in slippers.

Q:My problem is I can't live up to my mum Norah's expectations so I take out all my aggression at work. Much as I love her she's a constant nark and always looks a mess so when I turn up for my job I'm like a rottweiler with bad toothache. What do I do? - D.Batty, Newcastle.

A: Firstly you should get your mammy a makeover that includes a pair of tights. And the curlers will have to go too. It must be hard taking advice from a hag who has a fatal attraction for tramps. Second thoughts, let Sharon Stone adopt you and your worries are over.
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Title Annotation:Sport
Publication:Sunday Mail (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:Aug 22, 2004
Previous Article:Fanzone: Hey! That's my home town; POOL-HALL owner Gary Cunningham has given Airdrie his best shot all his life. Here the diehard Diamonds fan tells...
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