Face-lifts? They put years on a woman.
LATELY I have been furtively looking at cosmetic surgery sites. Only looking, because I really do believe that we should be grateful for what we're given.
I was bitten, pretty badly, on the upper lip, by my pet beagle when I was around nine. As you age, sun damage and scar tissue make themselves known and I have noticed, among other signs of ageing, a red vertical line above my lip where the bite was and I don't like it, because it looks like a deep line. And even if it is, that's only to be expected, I guess. It's normal. Isn't it?
What is "normal" these days, anyway? I'd have run a mile in my 20s if an orange man with unfeasibly straight, diamond-white choppers asked me for a date.
Fast forward to today and that look seems to be working wonders for Joey Essex and his TOWIE mates.
I wanted a flat chest in my teens so clothes would hang on me like they did on the models in magazines.
Aged just 23, ex-TOWIE star Amy Childs is about to have her third breast enlargement operation, after her left one swelled and, as Amy says, was "inflamed, painful and rock hard". Nice.
This week, plastic surgeons expressed concern over the number of young people who want cosmetic surgery.
The British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (BAAPS) is worried that younger patients can be vulnerable and often have self-esteem issues, which could be sorted out without resorting to surgical procedures.
The president-elect of BAAPS, Michael Cadier, reckons cosmetic intervention is "too big an operation with too many potential life-long implications". Except they're presumably not pressing that point too hard when they take the money.
The industry was worth PS720million in 2005, whacked up to PS2.3billion by 2010 and, it's thought, will shoot to PS3.6billion by 2015.
All this profit rooted in people's insecurity and fake expectations of what they should look like. When what they do look like is mostly freakish and, ironically, older than they actually are.
If they're not happy with their youthful looks, how the hell are they going to feel when they do actually age, despite the boob jobs, the fillers, the Botox, the surgery? What do people who've had "intervention" look like when they get to 80? Please could we see the evidence?
For now I'm too scared of the future to try to rake my face back to its past. Age is beautiful. In so many ways.
Repeat after me, Amy Childs: "Age is beautiful, age is beautiful. Normal-size boobs are beautiful. Flat chests, wonky noses (I've got one of those, too) are beautiful."
Until we believe that, cosmetic surgeons will continue to profit. And we are the mugs. Ugly or not.
PS3billion industry rooted in people's fake expectations
OP NO 3 Amy Childs