Eric Hall column.
And it's monster, monster thanks to the doctors, nurses and staff in all six hospitals I've been in. They've been magnificent and I owe my life to their wonderful work.
I always wanted to be a doctor but I didn't have enough patience.
Hang on, whose blood have they been giving me? Bob Monkhouse's?
I DON'T remember much about the past six weeks but I'm told that every time I was transferred to a different hospital I demanded a cut of the fee.
My mum Eva says Uncle Morrie and Uncle Solly were both there whenever I had my blood changed.
They wanted to make sure I was given the right stuff.
ALL the get-well messages touched me but I have to admit I was monster amazed by some of them.
I switched from surgeons to Sirs when I had calls from Elton John and Cliff Richard. It was nice of my old mates to remember me when you consider how busy they are.
And I was staggered to get cards from Bob Hope and his wife Dolores and also from Frankie Layne and Guy Mitchell who were recent guests on my LBC radio show.
Frankie Vaughn's son David also called and I had to apologise to him because Frankie was going to be my guest on the week I was taken ill.
"Dad wouldn't have got there anyhow," said David. "He's still locked behind that green door."
I FOUND a huge book on my table when I came round entitled Jewish Contributions To The 20th Century.
I've thrown it in the bin. In 2,000 pages I never got one mention.
FINALLY can I repeat the message my sister Caroline gave last week about our fund to help University College Hospital's research into the rare blood problem I have.
If you want to help, please send donations to: Monster TTP Charity Fund, c/o Caroline McPherson, 37 Warren Street, London W1P 5PD.