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Dumb questions.

NO BRAIN, NO GRAIN

One evening a young man walked into the Copper Mountain General Store in Troy, Mont., to purchase some new reloading equipment from Larry Davis. After Larry had explained some of the basics, the customer asked for some "inside advice" regarding powder charges.

Larry said, "First, read the manual before you even start. These loading data charts will tell you how many grains of powder to put in with each specific bullet weight in various cartridges."

The customer looked quite puzzled at Larry's explanation.

"Is something wrong?" Larry asked.

"I think I'll just forget the whole thing," he said. "Can I get my money back?"

Larry smiled at the man. "Don't worry. It's not that difficult. I'm sure you won't have any trouble understanding the data."

"That's okay," the customer said. "It's just that I don't have time to sit around and count 50 or 60 little granules of powder for each cartridge I want to shoot. I'll just buy the ammo."

No -- a grain is a measure of weight. If you had to count each granule of powder, the reloading press would come with a toothpick and a magnifying glass.

The Dreaded Dual Scope

Beth Swihart was working the optics counter at The Trading Post in Upper Sandusky, Ohio, one morning when a customer entered the store and asked for some help.

"I don't know much about scopes," he said, "but I'd like to purchase one for my rifle."

Beth brought several out of the display, each mounted on a dummy rifle, and explained the various features -- variable power, eye relief, lens coatings, etc. Finally the customer picked one he liked, in his price range, which suited his needs. "Okay, I'll take this one," he said. "But before I buy it, can I see the other one?"

Beth looked at him for a moment. "What other one?"

"You know, the one for the other eye."

Wait, maybe we need to start this from the beginning...

Don't Want Last Year's Model

Danny Metcalf, manager of Whitehaven Pawn Shop in Memphis, Tenn., was working late one evening when a customer came into the shop and asked for some help at the handgun counter.

"What can I do for you?" Danny asked.

The customer said, "I'm interested in purchasing a handgun for target shooting. Maybe a revolver, I think."

"Okay," Danny said. "Do you have any idea what type you'd like?"

The customer replied, "Yeah, a Smith & Wesson with about a 6-inch barrel."

"Smith & Wesson makes a lot of good guns. What model are you interested in?"

"Well, I don't want anything too old," the customer said. "How about a 1989 model maybe? Or 1990?"

Sorry, we sold all of those in our year-end clearance, but we could sell you a used gun that was only shot on Sundays by a little old lady in Pasadena.

Wheeler Dealer

A savvy-looking fellow walked into |B.sup.2~ Guns in Godfrey, Ill., one evening, ready to do some serious bargaining. He approached the used gun counter where Bill Bryant stepped up to speak with him.

"I'd like to see that handgun," the man said, pointing to one of the pistols in the gun case. Bill brought the gun out, checked the action, and handed it to the customer.

The man looked the weapon over, then asked, "What's the best price you can give me on this pistol?"

"How does $250 sound?" said Bill.

The customer gave Bill a dissatisfied look, then said, "Will you take $275 for it?"

"Well, I guess I would," Bill said, "but I'm only asking $250."

The customer thought about what he had said for a moment, then turned around and walked out of the store. Hopefully, he wasn't headed for an auction!

Herr Shutzengun

Gary Philips was taking a break from the gunsmithing bench at Whites Gunshop in Union Lake, Mich., to answer the questions of a fellow who came into the store to look at hunting rifles.

The two talked about hunting and swapped stories for a while, and finally Gary asked the man what kind of rifle he would like to purchase.

"Do you stock a Savage Auschwitz rifle?" he asked.

Gary couldn't help but wonder whether an Auschwitz would be anything but savage!

Do You Make House Calls?

One afternoon a fellow walked into Sweetwater Bargain Barn & Pawn in Sweetwater, Texas, carrying an antique Western revolver. He strolled up to the counter where Ann Smith was working, plopped the gun down, and said he wanted to show the gun to Amy's husband, the manager.

"Sorry, he's not in. He's out sick today, but that sure is a nice old revolver," she said.

"Gee, that's a shame," the customer said, "I'm sorry to hear he's not feeling well. How long will he be sick?"

He's scheduled to be sick for another three days, and after that he'll be just fine. Why don't you bring your gun back in then.

Fireworks Display

A customer walked into Gun Country in Brogue, Pa., one day and asked Vince Maranto for a little help with a high-tech handgun.

"I'd like to see one of the Tec-9 pistols," the customers said.

Vince brought one of the high-capacity, polymer-framed handguns out of the cabinet and explained its workings to the customer. After handling and admiring the gun, the customer handed it back to Vince and asked, "Won't the barrel melt if you fire all 32 rounds at once?"

No, wait. The frame is made of plastic, not the barrel ... and the gun won't fire all 32 rounds at once ... oh, never mind!
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Title Annotation:questions asked by gun shop customers
Publication:Shooting Industry
Date:Aug 1, 1993
Words:932
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