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Dress de coded; HOW YOUR CLOTHES REVEAL ALL YOUR DARKEST SECRETS.

Byline: POLLY HUDSON

WHY are you wearing that? Because it was clean? Or suited the weather? Or you just fancied it? Wrong, wrong and wrong again. In fact Dr Jennifer Baumgartner, author of You Are What You Wear: What Your Clothes Reveal About You, our outfits reveal our deepest, darkest secrets. And they say fashion isn't deep!

The proof of the pudding is, of course, in the seeing if it applies to celebrities... so let's look at what a few get-ups are meant to mean, and what they actually mean.

Without being mean, obviously. Much.

BUTTONED UP and Kei a K ightley Keirirara KnKnigighthtleleyey andnd Keira Knightley Kate Middleton BOOK SAYS: Women who button up their clothes are actually telling their boss that femininity means weakness, and not power. KEIRA... IN PRACTICE: "If I cover myself up maybe people will stop talking about how worryingly thin I am and focus on my truly incredible acting talent at long last." KATE... IN PRACTICE: "This looks regal, right?" YOUNG WOMAN .SHORT SKIRT hanna andand Rih RiRihRihahanannnnana anandnd AmAm ChChildild Rihanna and Amy Childs Am Chi d A BOOK SAYS: A young girl who chooses a short skirt could be seen as an attention seeker.

RIHANNA... IN PRACTICE: "Like, DUH.

Look at my bra top and suspenders - you think they might be clues?" AMY... IN PRACTICE: "Shuuuut uuuup! You're well jel." etc.

OLDER WOMAN ..SHORT SKIRT Carole Middleton e d aand Caro M d aand CaCarorolele Midd MiMididd et ddleletet Madonna BOOK SAYS: An older woman in a short skirt can't accept that she's now a grown-up.

MADONNA... IN PRACTICE: Mutton dressed as rabbit, forget about the lamb.

CAROLE... IN PRACTICE: "Look at my legs! Remind you of anyone? YES, SHE GOT THEM FROM ME!" CLEAVAGE Katie Price and Helen Flanagan BOOK SAYS: Too much cleavage says you are power hungry and controlling. KATIE... IN PRACTICE: "Buy. My. Stuff."

HELEN... IN PRACTICE: "Please don't stop taking my photo just because I'm not a star in Coronation Street these days."

OVER?THE?TOP JEWELLERY La G Laddydy Lady Gaga G BOOK SAYS: Over-the-top jewellery implies you are insecure and may have financial difficulties. GAGA... IN PRACTICE: "Anyone can sing and dance but to sing and dance in this hat makes me a true artist."

HIGH HEELS i B khaham Victoria BeckhamiB kham BOOK SAYS: High heels can make women appear less intelligent but also inspire confidence by making the wearer as tall as male colleagues. POSH... IN PRACTICE: Son Brooklyn, 13, is taller than her when she wears flats.

JEANS AND TRAINERS SaSamamamanantnththaha C Samantha Cameron C BOOK SAYS: If you find yourself in jeans and trainers, you maybe overly identifying with motherhood and suppressing other parts of yourself out of guilt or exhaustion. SAMCAM... IN PRACTICE: "I'm just a normal mum on the school run! Like me! Please like me!"
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:The Mirror (London, England)
Date:Mar 27, 2012
Words:477
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