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Dr Miriam: So ashamed of being a virgin; LETTER OF THE DAY.

Byline: Miriam Stoppard

Dear Miriam

I'VE become obsessed with sex. I can't think of anything else. It's the first thing on my mind when I wake up in the morning and the last thing at night.

I'm 6ft 2ins tall with a hairy chest and I do weight-training and karate. I'm one of the lads - I like a drink and I'm always up for a joke.

But my laughter hides a secret that I can hardly bear to write down - I'm a 25-year-old virgin.

All my mates talk about having the shag of the century and stuff like that, and I laugh with them, but inside I'm crying.

I've had a few girlfriends but nothing's ever come of it. I can never think of anything to say. Sometimes I think girls must be a different species.

My virginity is holding me back and I know I'll never have a proper relationship unless I can get rid of it. So I've decided I need a prostitute.

What are the extras sometimes offered in a massage parlour? I know the cure but I just need you to point me in the right direction.

WHAT do you want from me? Permission? This is the kind of decision adults have to make for themselves. I'm not here to judge you or the women who work in the sex industry but neither can I accept that paid sex is your only option.

You've put yourself under enormous pressure. Your virginity has become a psychological burden but I don't believe 10 minutes in a car down a dark alley is going to turn you into someone's ideal lover.

And as for massage parlours, I understand that assisted masturbation is more the order of the day than penetrative sex.

Losing your virginity just to prove you can do it, or out of curiosity, is likely to be a letdown.

The truth is, despite the crude pub banter, sex without affection can be a pretty empty experience.

Your spare-time activities seem to range from getting hot and sweaty in the gym to hanging out with the lads at the bar.

Make some room for women in your life and you might find that we do talk the same language.

And if you can make that kind of social leap, my guess is that pretty soon your virginity will no longer be an issue.


FIT: But it's hard to talk to women
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:The Mirror (London, England)
Date:May 21, 2004
Previous Article:Rear View Mirror: FANCY A LITTLE BIT OF MARANELLO MAGIC.
Next Article:Dr Miriam: Gay lover starts his old tricks.

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