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Dooan't forget t'drahver, sir.

Ah could 'ardly believe it t' other day wen a 'oliday brochure dropped through t' letter box.

"Nay, it's as bad as advertahsin Kersmuss presents i' June", Ah sed as Ah 'anded it ovver ter Ethel.

Shoo sooin 'ad t' plastic wrappin' whipped off an' telled me it wer fra one o' them firms 'at run cooachin' 'olidays.

"It's nooan fer next summer, just fer t' rest o' this yeear an' t' beginnin' o' next", shoo sed.

Shoo peered at t' brochure fer a few minnits an' sed: "Ther looks ter be some reight good 'olidays in 'ere. Ah wouldn't mahnd trahin' one sometahme".

Ah screwed up mi face an' sed: "Awl thees brochures are t' same. They're sooa clivver 'at they can even mek Gateshead look lahke Geneva.

"An' Ah'm nooan tain up wi' thees tinsel an' turkey affairs. Ah want a bit o' warm sunshahne wen Ah'm on 'oliday, not snow an' ice".

Ethel sed 'at Alice Winterbottom an' 'er 'usband Fred, swore bah cooach 'olidays.

"They gooa on as monny as three or four a yeear, tha knows, an' Alice sez they're varry good value".

"Aye, Ah've yerd 'at Fred reckons 'e could rahde tread off tyres", Ah replahd.

"But they 'ad a change last Spring, if tha remembers, wen they went ter Canada ter see 'is sister.

"Wen they wer comin' in ter land Fred wer sooa used ter cooach rahdin 'at 'e wer baan ter gooa raand wi' t' cap ter collect fer t' drahver!"
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:Huddersfield Daily Examiner (Huddersfield, England)
Date:Oct 22, 2005
Words:250
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