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Did I really say that?; THE BOOK IN THE LOOK: They eat immigrants for lunch, turn themselves into doughnuts and think a bomber is a vitamin pill. They're blundering politicians making fools of themselves ... again.

"I take pride in the words Ich bin ein Berliner." JFK at the Berlin Wall, June 1963. He was trying to say "I am a Berliner", but instead it came out as "I am a doughnut".

"I had 16 of them for lunch at the House of Commons." Liberal MP Cyril Smith, discussing immigrants, 1985.

"At least I left shoes in my closets and not skeletons. And besides, I didn't have 3,000 pairs of shoes. I only had 1,060." Imelda Marcos, 1987

"If people wish to eat meat and run the risk of dying a horrible, lingering, hormone-induced death after sprouting extra breasts and large amounts of hair it is, of course, entirely up to them." Tony Banks MP on BSE 1996

"People in the north die of ignorance and crisps." Edwina Currie, two weeks after she became a junior health minister in September 1986.

"Every Prime Minister needs a Willie." Margaret Thatcher, talking about William Whitelaw.

"I can have no objections to instruments which merely vibrate." Speaker Betty Boothroyd, speaking in the Commons about pagers, March 1997.

"We're the most democratic country in Latin America." Fidel Castro, Cuban leader, July 1991.

"Is my right honourable friend saying that Wren's skirts must be held up until all sailors have been satisfied?" Dame Irene Ward, responding to the Navy Minister's statement that new uniforms for women would be dealt with as soon as male officers had theirs, House of Commons, 1940.

"There are more crimes in Britain now, due to a huge rise in the crime rate." Neil Kinnock, Labour Party leader, BBC radio, 1985.

"Will this thing jerk me off?" Margaret Thatcher, firing a field gun during her visit to the Falklands, January 1983.

"Put a tail on me and see how bored you will be." Ill-fated challenge to the press by American presidential hopeful Gary Hart, 1987. They did, and quickly uncovered an affair with model Donna Rice which ruined his campaign.

"To his majesty the King of Sweden!" James Callaghan, former Foreign Secretary, proposing a toast to his host at a dinner in Oslo, Norway.

"No one would go to Hitler's funeral if he was still alive today." Labour MP Ron Brown, 1989.

Dorothy Macmillan: "What are you looking forward to now?" Madame de Gaulle: "A penis." General de Gaulle: "My dear, I think the English don't pronounce the word quite like that. It is not `a penis', but `appiness'." Exchange between first ladies during a visit by Harold Macmillan to Paris to mark General de Gaulle's retirement.

"There's a lot of overcrowded prisons in the south, and we are planning a new one." Douglas Hurd, Home Secretary, 1988.

"There is no housing shortage in Lincoln today - just a rumour that is put about by people who have nowhere to live." Councillor Murfin, Lord Mayor of Lincoln.

"I am a great fan of baseball. I watch a lot of games on the radio." President Gerald Ford.

"Experts will be on hand in the studio to make sense of what the Chancellor said." David Dimbleby, previewing the Budget Special, BBC TV, 1988.

"Trees cause more pollution than cars." Ronald Reagan, 1981.

"Now let's all try to settle this problem like good Christians." Warren Austin, US delegate to the United Nations, on the Arab-Israeli war, 1948.

"Following a nuclear attack on the USA, the United States Postal Service plans to distribute Emergency Change of Address Cards." Executive Order 11490, US Federal Emergency Management Agency, 1969.

"I always vote for the Tories. They are my best clients." Norma Levy, prostitute at the centre of the Lord Lambton scandal, 1973.

"How nice to see you all here." Former Home Secretary Roy Jenkins, addressing prisoners on a visit to a London jail.

"I am the nicest person I know and what I say is the truth as I see it." Labour MP Peter Mandelson.

"It is like a vasectomy - you can have all the fun without any of the responsibility." Stephen Norris, former Transport Minister, commenting on the benefits of a peerage.

"I do not like this word bomb. It is not a bomb. It is a device which is exploding." Jacques Le Blanc, French ambassador to New Zealand, responding to criticism of France's nuclear tests in the Pacific, October 1995.

"One reason I changed the Labour Party is so that we can remain true to our principles." Tony Blair, April 1997.

"No one offered me a disco biscuit." Alex Salmond, SNP leader, when asked about the all-night rave he visited, April 1997.

"How did I know the B-1 bomber was an aeroplane? I thought it was vitamins for the troops." Ronald Reagan.

"The chief problem of the low income farmers is poverty." Nelson Rockefeller, Governor of New York 1960.

"A nuclear power plant is definitely safer than eating, because 300 people choke to death on food every year." Dixie Lee Ray, Governor of Washington State, 1977.
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Copyright 1997 Gale, Cengage Learning. All rights reserved.

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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:The Mirror (London, England)
Date:Nov 29, 1997
Previous Article:THE IT FILE.
Next Article:The Imposter.

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