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Diapering the face.

A judge in Ohio has probably blown his chances of a nomination to the Supreme Court, but he sure made a lot of fans with his imaginative controlling of a spitter in his courtroom.

Hizzoner, who was unnamed in the news, was conducting the sentencing phase of a murder trial. Neil Simpson had been convicted of the robbery-homicide of a pizza shop owner who Simpson shot to death in 2007. While the jury considered arguments against imposing the death penalty, Simpson chose to lecture them--and then spit on 'em. Simpson told them he'd rather be executed than spend life in prison.

The judge had Simpson removed while the jury wiped off his spittle. When he reappeared in his pretty pink-and-white jail-suit, he was sporting a disposable diaper covering his mouth and nose, held in place by a swatch of mosquito netting cinched around his neck and up over his head, where it was tied off in a big poof. Yeah, we'll give you a moment to visualize that.

Simpson's spittin' was curtailed, but he further instructed the jury that he would prefer to be crucified on the courthouse lawn, or stoned to death by the victim's family. He reiterated his desire not to spend the rest of his life behind bars. The jury recommended his life be spared, which then opened the door for the judge to sentence him to life in prison without parole.

We don't think he could work up much spit after hearing that sentence. Let's just hope photos of him in his cute spitter outfit get circulated around in prison. Just for laughs, y'know.
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Title Annotation:Back Blast & other hot gases
Comment:Diapering the face.(Back Blast & other hot gases)
Author:Gilmore
Publication:Shooting Industry
Date:Jan 1, 2011
Words:268
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