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Diagnosis: Murder; By Jane Simon and Brian McIver PICK.

Byline: Jane Simon and Brian McIver

MIDSOMER MURDERS STV, 8pm OOH, look. There's a black family in Midsomer Murders! OK, it's only the mum, played by Rowena King, and the son exists mainly in the form of a photograph. But this is real progress.

Midsomer, aka the "last bastion of Englishness", is being belatedly dragged into the 21st Century.

But that other last bastion of Englishness, namely bludgeoning, stabbing and strangling your neighbours and leaving a trail of dead bodies for detectives to follow like some sort of jolly paper chase, continues undiminished. So too do the other Midsomer essentials: dotty aunts and men in cravats driving vintage sports cars who quiz witnesses on the village green while a cricket match goes on behind you.

This week's puzzler for Barnaby and Jones (Neil Dudgeon and Jason Hughes) involves a teenage girl (Jo Woodcock), who was left for dead in the woods on the night she was supposed to be eloping with her boyfriend. She survives. But when she wakes from her coma a year later, all hell breaks loose.

The local chess club is involved - something that wouldn't have been possible in the bad old days of Midsomer when there'd have been no black pieces allowed on the board. Probably.

Guest stars including Julie Graham, who plays Dr Laura Parr, Fay Ripley and John Henshaw do a fine job of pretending it all makes sense. Trying to work out what motive can link the crime wave that follows keeps it interesting.

EMMERDALE STV, 7pm AS Georgia makes one of her frequent swoops back into her sons' lives tonight, Rishi tells Jai to fight for Charity because "she's the best thing that ever happened to you".

Seriously? What the hell must his previous girlfriends have been like? Elsewhere, the silent calls Chas has been getting get more sinister. Watch closely tonight and you'll see she's being stalked by a mysterious individual with a very wide face.

CORONATION STREET STV, 7.30pm LEANNE is planning to move to Leeds but, of course, we know she's not going. And how? Because the Coronation Street Appropriate-Tune-Jukebox is playing Love is The Drug (about her and Peter) and Still The One (about her and childhood sweetheart Nick). It can only mean the wedding's back on. But what a pity the jukebox couldn't stretch to Up On The Roof for poor old Jason after Karl's hilarious practical joke.

JUST past 40, actress Sharon Horgan is already fretting about her own impending midlife crisis.

I'd say that as long as she can get away with the leather minidresses and pink skinny jeans she's rocking in this film, she can put it off for a few more years yet.

In this documentary, she meets six women who all hit a crossroads and went pinballing off in a brand new direction.

They range from one who's only just twigged that pulling much younger men for no-strings sex is as easy as falling off a bar stool, to another who sold up everything to live with her husband and kids on a (very) narrow boat.

Lovely, warm and never judgmental, Sharon is never lost for the perfect Twitter-worthy one-liner. "I'm not ready for a slower life. I'm not even ready for patchy mobile phone coverage!" she wails.

She also discovers one woman who is TV gold, motivational speaker Nicky Pattinson. With her no-nonsense manner, husky Yorkshire accent and statement fringe, she should be sorting out your life in a series of her own.

WE get two very different pictures of motherhood tonight as David Attenborough guides us through the savannah of east Africa.

"One of the most fertile landscapes on Earth," he calls it, lulling us into a false sense of security before the emotional punches he has in store.

The first involves a bird called a shoebill - and when they talk about birds descended from dinosaurs, you can really see it with this cold-eyed creature.

Mum shoebill has hatched two chicks and her treatment of one would have you on the phone to shoebill social services.

Then we switch to the Amboseli National Park, where the worst drought in 50 years means hundreds of elephants will die.

The story of one mother elephant and her calf is heartbreaking.

link the crime wave keeps it interesting. TURN OVER FOR SCOTLAND'S BEST TV GUIDE know she's not going. And how? Because the Coronation Street


ROCKING J Presenter Sharon Horgan JUMBO J CULL: Hundreds will die MEDDLING 3 Georgia, Nikhil and Gennie HURT 3 Leanne with Nick
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Title Annotation:News; Front Page
Publication:Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:Jan 9, 2013
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