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Dear Jo: Readers Letters.

Eu're mad, MaggieI'VE listened to the Conservative Party's views on social security, Europe and home affairs and have come to the conclusion they're a party of small-minded, bigoted, racist cretins.

I'd particularly like to mention Thatcher and her view that Europe is responsible for all the United Kingdom's troubles.

Dare I suggest that it is she who caused our recent problems.

Europe's continued industrial investment in this country has kept us going. And the idea that we should withdraw is stupid in the extreme.

Europe is our future. We would be unable to survive as a xenophobic, isolated nation.

The views of Thatcher and Tebbit will go a long way to keeping the Tories out of government not only at the next election, but at the one after that, and maybe even after that.

In fact, we may see the Liberal Democrats as the main opposition to the Government.

Andrew Crines

Huddersfield, W Yorks

WILLIAM Hague's assumption that there's an illegal benefit claimant on every street corner is pure fiction.

As long as there is a benefit system there will be some fraud. And every penny stolen by a cheat is ultimately a penny stolen from the state and its taxpayers.

But most unemployed people hate their lives and would like nothing better than to be earning an honest living.

It's a fact that unemployment is a humiliation. And one that is made a thousand times worse by the attitude that those claiming Jobseeker's Allowance are living it up.

If you are unemployed, you can blow your budget by chosing Heinz beans over own-brand. Would he call this "living it up"?

L Ainsworth Widnes, Cheshire

HOW typical of the Tories to play up to people's prejudices. First they attacked the single mothers and now it's the unemployed.

They would have you believe that most people on the dole are work-shy and the rest are in the black economy.

Yes, for a minority this might be true. But the Tories shouldn't forget the vast majority are genuine claimants and some will even be Tory voters.

R Chamberlain

Blandford, Dorset

MR Hague promises to reduce taxation by cutting back on government departments and other ruling bodies.

How convenient to forget that Mrs Thatcher created hundreds of quangos staffed by unelected, Tory folk who were accountable to no one and spent billions of our money. What a hypocrite he is.

John Booth Mansfield, Notts

IF Thatcher is so great that the Tories need her help and support at their conference, why did they sack her in the first place?

Elaine, via e-mail

BRIAN Reade commented that an anagram of William Hague MP reads: "I'm all huge wimp" (The Mirror, Oct 5).

Very witty. Now let's play that game with your name, Brian. An anagram of yours might read: "Be a rare din". This game's good fun, isn't it?

J Crittenden

Chatham, KentWeigh out of lineEVERYONE is fascinated by the weights of the Spice Girls, yet it seems they just can't win.

One day the "big story" is that Victoria Adams - Posh Spice - is anorexic. Next day there are reports that Emma Bunton is overweight despite her talking about her sensible dieting regime.

Victoria is right. It is simply none of our or the media's business to comment on whether these girls are overweight or underweight.

The comments we've read of late just add to the pressure on young girls to stay slim.

M Beal, Whitley Bay, Tyne and Wearpounds 25 Letter Of The DayHOW very ironic that on the day the annual Conservative Party Conference kicked off in Blackpool the BBC should begin their much heralded TV series Walking With Dinosaurs.

P Key Workington, CumbriaI've got an udder bag, thank youLAUREN, my nine-year-old cousin, collects all sorts of bags.

At a wedding last month she was asked if she'd like a doggy bag to take home with her.

She promptly answered: "No thanks. I've got a cow bag at home".

Joanne, Newcastle

WHEN my granddaughter was watching a TV programme about retirement recently, she asked her mum: "Is retirement where you take your tyre off your bike and put a new one on?"

Mrs Hunter Silksworth, Tyne & Wear

I TOOK my five-year-old grandson, Jamie, to my dad Bob-Bob's grave as it was his anniversary. Jamie looked at me and said: "Is grandad Bob-BobKids' Talk Extra going to have a party with a cake and candles?"

M West South Creake, Norfolk

I WAS invited to a friend's house to meet his wife and children and arrived with my two Old English Sheepdogs.

When the children asked if I had any kids myself, I looked at my dogs and said: "No, these are my two babies."

The children replied: "What's their dad like?"

J Owen Runcorn, Cheshire

MY FRIEND'S little girl was eating a jelly baby and I asked: "Is that a boy or a girl?" She replied: "I don't know. I've bitten its head off."

B Gendler Woodford Green, Essex

WHEN my 16-year-old son came downstairs all dressed up and ready to go out with his friends, his aunt asked: "Are you going out on the pull?"

His nan, who was visiting, misheard and asked him: "Yes, are you going on the pill?" Everyone was in fits of laughter.

M Johnson Billinge, Merseyside

WE MOVED house recently and I thought it would be a good idea to take my boys, Ryan and Kurt, for a walk on the marsh by our new house.

As we were walking I spotted a bird and said: "Oh, look. There's a kittiwake."

Kurt said immediately: "What's it waiting for?"

L Duffin Boston, LincsI COULDN'T help smiling when I heard of an old gentleman who came out of a chiropodist's and told his friend: "She said: 'It's not a chiropodist you need. Have you considered a blacksmith?'".

Audrey Shepherd Nottingham
No portion of this article can be reproduced without the express written permission from the copyright holder.
Copyright 1999 Gale, Cengage Learning. All rights reserved.

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Title Annotation:Features
Author:Dipple, Jo
Publication:The Mirror (London, England)
Date:Oct 8, 1999
Previous Article:Dear Jo: Readers Letters.
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