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Dave Robson; A Teesside dad''s whimsical look at the world.

SO how accustomed are you to public speaking? Memories of sweaty-palmed, hesitantly delivered speeches came to mind last week when I was getting down wiv da kidz at a McFly concert.

Please don't judge me. It was a present for Mrs R. Obviously.

I also wore five colours in my hair, just to get into the spirit.

Anyway, watching McFly person Tom Fletcher belt out his punky power pop brought to mind his wedding speech.

If you haven't seen it, it's on YouTube. And it's an astonishing watch.

But a word of advice if you're a bloke getting married soon - avoid watching it like the plague. And even more importantly, don't let your lass see it because if you do, you're onto a loser.

You see, sentimental Tom decides to SING his speech, with adapted lyrics to McFly tunes. And he does it brilliantly, damn him, complete with a kids' choir and audience choking back the tears.

It's now had more than 9m views, he's been interviewed on American TV about it and his standing among his female fans has skyrocketed, even though he's no longer on the market, as it were.

"Tom's set the bridegroom So he's set the bridegroom bar impossibly high - but at least I did half of my speech in a foreign language!

bar impossibly Yes, as if getting married in Norway to a Norwegian wasn't nerve-wracking enough, I chose to deliver half my speech in my better high half's native tongue.

Oh the impetuousness of youth.

My first thought was to do one line in English with an instant translation into Norwegian and so on. But when it ended up sounding like something you'd hear in the break at Eurovision, I went for plan B. That involved doing the first half of the speech in Norwegian, followed by the second half in English.

Perfect! Just one problem - at that stage, my Norwegian linguistic talents barely extended beyond colours, swear words and counting up to ten.

I toyed with writing it all myself, but the result would have had me hounded out of the country.

Luckily, I found a helpful Norwegian teacher and between us, we came up with a touching and occasionally baffling speech involving football, beer and crisps.

You had to be there. The one stumbling point was when she couldn't think of the Norwegian word for "team" (again, you had to be there).

"She helpfully suggested "team". Having little option, I agreed, but decided to deliver it - and in fact the whole speech - with pronunciation I thought would appeal to Scandinavian ears.

In fact, I sounded more like the Swedish chef in The Muppets.

The English contingent was impressed, but preferred the first half of the speech to the bit they could understand.

The Norwegians understood the English bit better than the Norwegian bit.

But I got a standing ovation, if only because it had finished, so I was happy enough. And any nice things I said about my bride still apply 21 years on, just even more so.

And hey, we even go to McFly concerts together...

Tom's " set the bridegroom bar impossibly high "
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:Evening Gazette (Middlesbrough, England)
Date:May 8, 2013
Words:522
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