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Dan Murphy: "I give 'em the Houdini".

You have something a lot of hot ams don't--a college degree.

Yep.

What's that all about?

It's mainly a back-up plan. I always wanted to pursue skateboarding as a professional career. I mean, I started skating for fun and I never knew if I'd be able to support myself with it.

What's your degree in?

Psychology.

Yes!

Yeah. I don't know if it's anything I can really use to have a career, but I had an arrangement with my family where they'd support me as long as I was in school. As long as I'd get through it, they'd help out. I looked for a major I was really interested in but they didn't have anything. They didn't have skateboarding as a major so I chose psychology. I figure it's never gonna hurt to understand people or learn about people. You know what I mean?

Is psychology really the college equivalent of health class?

Health class?

Yeah. Like the easiest class in school?

I don't think it's like health class, man, Maybe some of the classes I took dealt with health, but more like developmental issues.

Sounds like you're well-versed in it.

I don't know. Maybe.

I've heard college Is killer.

Oh yeah. College is definitely killer.

Okay. Now we're talkin'!

It was a great experience, to, you know, like, party.

Yes! Did you go to a lot of keggers?

Yeah, keggers and regular parties too. Basically just a lot of parties. Partyin'.

Did you ever do a keg stand?

Yeah. I've done keg stands. I'm pretty good at 'em.

Take me through it, step by step.

Okay. You get the keg, which is a big barrel of beer.

Alright. Got it.

Then you get a few of your homeboys or hot chicks and get them to throw you up there, upside down.

Wait. Where are your hands at this point?

The keg is conveniently built for keg stands. There're built-in handles right on the top of the keg--perfect for grabbing onto in the inverted position. You've got to have some muscles, okay?

Yeah?

Yeah. So you get yourself up there and then get a few friends to steady you. Then you get the hose in your mouth and then you swallow.

What's the best way to tap a keg if you don't have a proper tap?

If you don't have a tap?

Yeah. Like if some fool run off with the tap.

I'm a blow a hole in it with my nine millimeter.

Did you and your frat bros ever have to pull off some wild prank to get back at the Dean?

Beans?

No. The Dean. Did you ever have to do some wild stunt to prevent the dean from closing your frat house?

Oh, the Dean! You know what? To be honest I don't even know who the Dean is. I have no idea who he is.

What was your favorite part of the Zero Spring Break Summer Tour?

The spring break part.

Yeah. That was awesome.

The spring break part was really good.

What are some important things to remember when building and using your own beer bong?

Swallow once it hits your lips. I don't know. I wouldn't drink prune juice with it.

Good advice. In our van we mostly talked about weight lifting and beer. What did you guys talk about in your van?

Grown-man business.

Really? I thought you were in the kids van.

Nah, man. That's what you thought. You weren't on the tour long enough.

What's the best way to get Jamie riled up on a 12-hour drive?

Probably try and keep him from skating. You'd probably know better than me. He'd probably rile up the worst if you told him he couldn't skateboard. That'd get him a little upset.

What's your favorite spring break jam?

I like the rain dance.

What's that?

It's a little dance that I do. It gets everybody wet, know what I'm sayin'?

Tight, tight. Who parties hardest--the Zero team or the Mystery team?

I don't know, We need to have a battle, basically. Now chat we have two teams it's on for future events. We need a little battle.

Is Lopez a hard boss to work for?

You know what? I don't think he's been my boss long enough to really know if he's hard or easy. He's a good boss. I know that.

What's the worst job you've ever had?

I haven't really had any bad jobs. l used to work at a convenience store with my friends. It was great. We had spring break every night behind the counter. Then I was the stockroom man at Crate and Barrel. We'd get to jam out. I'd do the rain dance there, too.

Are you pretty big on the dance floor?

Yeah, yeah. I'm not too good, but I have a good time.

Do you think you'll meet your wife on the dance floor someday?

Yeah. Definitely. I've met every girl I've had a relationship with on the dance floor, so yeah.

What kind of moves do you have that gets their attention?

Well, I get my shoulders shaking. I give 'em The Houdini. I was initially inspired in my shoulder moves by my friend Bob Reynolds. He could move his shoulders so fast! He's retired now, so I'm doing my best to take his place.

How'd you get on Mystery, anyway?

I became acquaintances with Jamie Thomas over there at Black Box. We discussed some things, he reviewed some footage, and I was on.

You filled out the application?

Yeah. Filled out the paperwork and luckily I got the job.

Was that you in the Mystery ad doing the lipslide with bars over your eyes?

That's a mystery, dude.

Yeah, but was it you?

I can't be sure. They don't tell me. Even I don't know.

Are you moving to California, bro?

The word "move" is a little too much. I like the East Coast. But, yeah, I am gonna relocate for awhile.

Where you gonna stay?.

I'm thinking of staying with my friend Mike Burnett. I hear he's got an extra room.

Sweet. That guy's a hell of a dancer. Who's the best skater to come out of North Carolina?

That's too hard. There are so many great skaters out of North Carolina.

Yeah, but who's the best?

Okay. Chet Childress.

Correct! I would also have accepted Mike Sinclair. Speaking of, what exactly is the Brly Air?

I don't really know. I guess when you're off the ground and have big muscles? I couldn't really tell ya.

But you're really from New Hampshire?

What goes on there?

We shovel snow.

Are there any pro skaters from New Hampshire?

Yeah. I think there probably are but they're in denial. They like to claim Boston or Portland, Maine. New Hampshire's not cool enough. Do people have jacked accents up there?

I'm not really the best judge 'cause when I went down South I thought they all had jacked accents.

When was the last time you wore a helmet?

Last night on the dance floor. I was doing head spins.

How're your vert skills?

When I'm upside down? I get dizzy, but it's not gonna stop me!

Who's your favorite Pissdrunk?

What is that, a porn star?

Sheckler or Seaholm?

Forget it, man. I'll go with the Red Socks.

T-Bone or Kanten?

Bruins.

Swellbows or cheek spreaders?

Stupid.

Varial flips or hardflips?

The easy one.

Which Mosley do you prefer and why?

Short, tall. I don't care. As long as she's hot. Describe a moment when you should have died.

I was running really fast on my roof at my going-away party and I dove into the water and hit my head on the bottom and almost died. And now I have a big Mercedes-symbol sear on my head. That's why I grew my hair long. Did you black out?

I don't know. My boy says I was floating a little bit. They carried me out. Apparently I was really rude at the hospital.

What's your secret weapon?

I'm not gonna give away my secret weapon. It's faith.

Faith?

F-A-I-T-H. You can't take me out.
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Title Annotation:Heads
Publication:Thrasher
Date:Mar 1, 2004
Words:1359
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