DEATH BED CONFESSION DILEMMA.
Byline: Dear Coleen email email@example.com
Dear Coleen MY BROTHER passed away a few months ago, but before he died he told me he'd had affairs throughout his marriage and felt bad about them.
His wife has been finding it very tough to move on from his death and has him up on a pedestal.
At first, I had no intention of telling her about the affairs but now I'm wondering if it would help her to move on if she knew this about her husband, who she talks about as if he were some kind of saintly figure. My wife thinks I should keep it to myself but I'm not so sure. I'd love your opinion.
Coleen says I'M WITH your wife on this one. Why taint her memory of him? She would be heartbroken and she might not believe you and then your relationship will suffer. In my experience, when people die, they are remembered in a saintly light and all their negative personality traits are usually forgotten - it's probably a way of dealing with the grief.
Also, for all you know, she might have been aware of the affairs or at least had an idea her husband was cheating.
She might be finding it hard to move on, but there's no time limit on grief. She'll work through it in her own time. So be as supportive as you can, and trust your wife's judgment and keep the information to yourself.