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Cupcakes are for people who iron teatowels and are scared of eating with their fingers.

Byline: KATE FOX

Svery successful. St James' Park still not really the Sports Direct Arena in our minds is However, one rebranding has taken place with little resistance.

The humble bun has become the 'cupcake'.

"No, they are just buns with sugary icing on!" I cry to no avail, as yet another lady in a pastel apron tells us that these spongy delights were invented in United States of America this decade.

Fairy buns, currant buns, iced buns, decorated buns... there is never any need for people who iron their teatowels, lengthen their vowels and are scared eating with their fingers. Cupcakes are wimps.

Buns sort out the men from the boys, they don't make your teeth ache require you to splash out extortionate amounts for some plates with polka dots on.

No Northerner should be calling small baked round of flour, eggs sugar anything other than a bun unless they're aiming to make money out quid.

Correct people who say cupcake when they mean bun and alter signs in bakeries.

Let not the humble bun die out. We'll regret it if we do.

Ihave now taken a position on Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon.

No, that sounds wrong. I mean, now decided what I think.

I'm going to approach it like I did Harry Potter phenomenon, whilst that they both take very approaches to what can be done a dungeon or on a broomstick. I'm pained by the feel of an emery board on the skin around my nails and get claustrophobic in Ikea, so slapping and handcuffs are never going to do it me. I would never have read Fifty Shades of Grey for its own sake. Now that being read as much as a talking point an erotic aid, it's got to the point where There was about five minutes when could have done, just as there was Harry Potter. Five minutes when I could have got in there and read it because would have been out of curiosity about the impending global phenomenon.

The reason would have been between "Because I want to" and "Because everyone else has". But the moment's passed now. I'll forever be the one conversations saying "No, I haven't" feeling a vague sense of annoyance really well written books don't become global phenomena.

I loved books about witches and and boarding schools when I growing up, and know there were many that were just as good.

Jill Murphy's Worst Witch series, by Diana Wynne Jones and wonderful The Changeover by Margaret Mahy who sadly died this week.

Go and read one of those. Unless you're already tied up...
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:The Journal (Newcastle, England)
Date:Jul 27, 2012
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