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Coaches' corner.

Former Raiders linebacker MATT MILLEN, upon hearing that Washington Redskins offensive lineman Joe Jacoby said he'd run over his own mother to win the Super Bowl: "To win, I'd run over Joe's mom, too."

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North Carolina coaching legend DEAN SMITH: "If you make every game a life-and-death thing, you're going to have problems. You'll be dead a lot."

Denver Nuggets superstar CARMELO ANTHONY, when asked how the New York Knicks' three-guard rotation of Allan Houston, Stephon Marbury, and Jamal Crawford would co-exist: "It will work out somehow. That's a hell of a duo right there."

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San Francisco Giants manager FELIPE ALOU describing the appeal of MLB's wild-card concept: "The wild card is the purgatory of the lost. It's a place souls go and wait millions of years until redemption."

The late comedic legend BOB HOPE: "I was called 'Rembrandt' Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas."

Florida Marlins manager JACK McKEON after being asked when pitcher Josh Beckett would come off the disabled list and make his next start: "It'll be anywhere from Sunday to Sunday. But I doubt it'll be Sunday."

MICHAEL VENTRE of the L.A. Daily News describing his favorite Olympic sport: "It's the one where you make your way through the snow, you stop, you shoot a gun, and then you continue on. In most of the world it is known as the biathlon, except in New York City, where it is known as winter."

AL OERTER, famed Olympic discus thrower: "I don't think the discus will ever attract any interest until they let us start throwing them at one another."

San Diego Padres manager BRUCE BOCHY, after sending Kerry Robinson up to pinch-hit with two men on, only to watch him bounce into a triple play: "You're thinking he's a good guy to stay out of the double play. Well, we did that."

Former boxer RANDALL "TEX" COBB: "If you screw things up in tennis, it's 15-love. If you screw up in boxing, it's your behind."

GENE MAUCH, former major league manager: "Losing streaks are funny. If you lose at the beginning of the season, you get off to a bad start. If you lose in the middle of the season, you're in a slump. If you lose at the end, you're choking."

Boston Red Sox first baseman DOUG MIENTKIEWICZ after hearing that Toronto pitcher Justin Miller had been banned from pitching in short sleeves because the league ruled that his tattoos were too distracting: "He [Miller] should put a picture of Ricardo Rincon on there. If I see him out there, I guarantee you I'm going to swing and miss three times."

Former major league slugger DICK ALLEN when asked his thoughts about playing on AstroTurf: "If horses can't eat it, I won't play on it."

DUFFY DAUGHERTY, the late Michigan State coaching icon: "Football is not a contact sport. It's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport."

SPARKY ANDERSON, managing great who led the Cincinnati Reds and Detroit Tigers to World Series titles: "Just give me 25 guys in the last year of their contracts; I'll win a pennant every year."

The late, legendary New York sportswriter DICK YOUNG: "Fans are the only ones who really care. There are no free-agent fans."

New York Giants Hall of Fame running back FRANK GIFFORD: "Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors."
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Title Annotation:sports humor and anecdotes
Publication:Coach and Athletic Director
Article Type:Column
Geographic Code:1USA
Date:Feb 1, 2005
Words:573
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