BILLY MARTIN, on the tenth time George Steinbrenner called him good for nothing: "What do you want me to do? Have people pay me for it?"
BOB STOOPS, on his favorite critic: "It was Barry Switzer. He told me I wasn't young enough to know everything."
CASEY STENGEL: "You know you're getting old when you're sitting in a rocking chair and can't get it started."
DENNIS RODMAN, when his team's GM warned him about his flights of fancy and told him to keep both feet on the ground: "What, and give up rebounding?"
DICK VITALE, when the 12th man on his team swore he'd score 20 points a game if he got more playing time: "I've told you a million times to stop exaggerating."
CHARLIE JONES' statistical breakdown of the coaches in the 1986 Fiesta Bowl: "Bo Schembechler and Tom Osborne have 400 victories and seven heart bypasses between them."
DICK MOTTA, on how great Jerry West was for 15 years in the NBA: "If he had learned to use his left hand, he might have played for another year."
DALLAS COWBOY safety, when asked if he had ever dreamed that the Cowboys would give up 44 and 49 points in the same season: "Never. I only dream about girls."
JOE GIBBS, on why he switched from football to automobiles: "Automobiles don't have agents, don't call me at 6 o'clock in the morning to negotiate a contract, don't petition me for a later curfew, and don't object to urine tests."
JERRY GIRARD, the sports newscaster, announcing Bud Grant's resignation as coach of the Vikings: "One hour after Grant announced he was quitting to spend more time with his family, his wife called and asked for the job."
YOGI BERRA, while on a diet, being asked by a waitress if he wanted French fries: "OK, but no potatoes."
VIN SCULLY, after Jack Clark's dramatic ninth-inning home run eliminated the Dodgers from the 1985 playoffs: "Tommy Lasorda looked up to the Big Dodger in the sky and cried, 'Why me?' and the Big Dodger in the sky repfied: 'Because you should have walked him, dummy.'"
JOE TORRE, on why his great relief pitcher, Mariano Rivera, is going to wind up in heaven: "Three more saves and he ties John the Baptist."
ABE LEMONS, listening to John McEnroe moan about the difficulty of being No. 10 in tennis: "You're right about that. I know when I was 18 years old and lying on my belly on Iwo Jima, I used to comfort myself by thinking, 'Boy, am I lucky not having to deal with the pressures of big-time tennis.'"
MUHAMMAD ALI, after taking a terrific pounding from Joe Frazier, on whom he was going to fight next: "Mrs. Frazier."
EARL WEAVER, on the subject of George Steinbrenner: "He is really a reasonable person. He believes that everyone is entitled to his own stupid opinion."
DAVID CONE, on the year he spent pitching for a last-place club: "I wound up with the lousiest e.r.a. in the league, but in the greatest shape of my life... thanks to all the running I did backing up third base."
DICK VERMEIL, on his unique relationship with his players: "They love me so much they'll call me at 6 in the morning whenever their toilets break down. I don't know how to fix toilets, so I bring my playbook along and have the players put in a couple of hours of study with me."
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|Publication:||Coach and Athletic Director|
|Article Type:||Brief Article|
|Date:||Dec 1, 2001|
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