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Closet hang-ups; if the doorknobs are loaded, you may have to resort to hanging up clothes in the closet.

CLOSET HANG-UPS

It has always seemed to me that the President, Congress, and news people spend too much time worrying about the problems that are here today, gone tomorrow, and too little time on the problems that endure, year after year, life after life.

I'll just give you one example. There aren't enough places to hang things.

If I had my way, the building code would decree that there be at least three doorknobs on every closet door. We all know a doorknob is the best and easiest place to hang something. Why is there only one to a door? Builders act as though the only purpose of a doorknob is to open a door.

A doorknob has a lot of advantages over the standard wire hanger, in addition to its ready availability. For a man those wire hangers are hopelessly inadequate. Look at the facts:

If a man is going to wear the same pants tomorrow that he wore today, chances are he'll want to leave the belt through the loops and some loose change and maybe a few miscellaneous bits of hardware in his pockets.

The weight of these objects invariably causes the trousers to slide from the thin wire crosspiece of the hanger and drop to the floor. (There are wood hangers with various attachments designed to hold pants. They're good, but someone takes them.)

The last place people want to hang clothes is their clothes closets. Closets are mean, inconvenient, often dark, and always overcrowded. If a person's closet isn't overcrowded, you can just about bet that what that person needs is a psychiatrist.

On the sagging crossbar of a clothes closet, wire hangers cluster together and wrap their grubby little hooks around each other in an orgy of togetherness.

Doorknobs are not the only place around a house to hang something, of course. There are lots of other good places before you have to resort to putting something away in a closet.

The one place to hand a pair of loaded pants, far superior to all others, is from the top drawer of a dresser. Place a few inches of the bottom of the pants legs in the drawer and close the drawer on them just above the cuff, thus trapping them for the night. Nothing could be simpler.

Many people don't understand why cuffs were put on pants. Cuffs give a bureau drawer something to grab hold of. To eliminate cuffs on pants is a step in the wrong direction. Cuffless pants may slip from the drawer.

The best place to hang a suit coat is over the back of a chair. This is not only convenient, but there is something dramatic about a coat that is hung over the back of a chair.

If you are forced, by some unfortunate domestic circumstance like a neat husband or wife, into putting things away, there are still ways to avoid using hangers.

Most closets have a few hooks on either side. The best way to use these in order to get the most out of them (by getting the most on them) is by starting with the lighter items first. Several short-sleeved sport shirts make a good base. It is much easier to hang, say, a pair of corduroy work pants over two sport shirts than it would be to hang one sport shirt over two pairs of corduroy pants.

Many four-poster beds are still in use, and they provide wonderful hanging space. During the winter, when you plan to put on substantially the same clothes in the morning that you took off at night, the bedpost by your feet is hard to beat as a place to hang them. They're close, convenient, and in the middle of the night, who cares how they look?

There's no doubt of the shortage of places to hang things in America today, but with perseverance and ingenuity, and perhaps some help from Washington, we should be able to keep stuff off the floor.
COPYRIGHT 1986 Saturday Evening Post Society
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Copyright 1986 Gale, Cengage Learning. All rights reserved.

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Author:Rooney, Andy
Publication:Saturday Evening Post
Date:Oct 1, 1986
Words:665
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