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Clive is no Idle threat.

Byline: Teli Onanovski

LET'S not beat about the bush here, ITV's Clive Tyldesley is the antichrist of football commentating when it comes to England matches.

He spouts jingoism loosely disguised as patriotism and if you don't happen to be English you either turn the telly off or take yourself to the toilet and slap your soul off the tiles.

Prior to kick-off against the French in the Donbass Arena he said: "Agincourt, Waterloo and now Donetsk."

What the Hundred Years War and the Duke of Wellington's big day out had to do with a football match only a fool can say.

But let's not take this awful character too seriously - he sounds like Eric Idle of Monty Python fame.

Actually, lots of football people on telly look and sound like characters from sitcoms or the movies.

PRELUDE Take ITV panellist Jamie Carragher and his thick Liverpool accent and tell me you don't conjure up visions of Gary, Barry and Terry, the Scousers from the old Harry Enfield Television Show.

They used to say: "Alright! Alright! Calm down! Calm down."

And tell me that Roy Hodgson isn't a dead ringer for Danny Devito's "The Penguin" in the Batman movies.

Please yourselves but remember this, when the Italian ref blew for time and the antichrist signed off with: "Good night's work by England" it was merely a prelude of what's to come.

All those pundits who have been controlling their usual ludicrous optimism will now start telling us that Engerlund can actually win this tournament.

Just grin and bear it folks!
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Title Annotation:Sport
Publication:Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:Jun 12, 2012
Words:259
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