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Classroom clangers.

* When asked to use the word "judicious" in a sentence, a child replied: "Hands that judicious can be soft as your face".

* Instead of describing him as a "prodigy", a pupil at Mr Shanley's school said that Mozart was a "child orgy".

* "Transparent means something you can see through, for example, a keyhole."

* Teacher: "What's the name of that famous woman with a lamp?" Pupil: "Aladdin?"

* Little girl: "Miss, could you please cut me some fabric?" Teacher: "What width?" Little girl: "Scissors, Miss."

* Parent's letter to school: "Anne was absent yesterday because she was tired ( she had spent the weekend with the Marines."

* Headteacher in assembly: "Because Sunday is Easter Day, Sophie Briggs from Form 8D will come on stage and lay an egg on the table."
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Publication:The Journal (Newcastle, England)
Date:Sep 18, 2006
Words:127
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