Cinema: Head To head.
BACKGROUND: "My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy. My mother was a 15-year- old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father claims he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. My childhood was typical - summers in Rangoon and luge lessons. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds."
ATTACK OF THE CLONES? After the disappointment in his son Scott and his lack of evilness, the doctor had himself cloned - but to only one-tenth the scale. Mini Me, however, was more deranged than his master and hell- bent on killing Scott.
SECRET WEAPON: Made and developed his own laser which he threatened the world with. Also developed a time machine, a tractor beam and a way of stealing people's mojos.
LIKES: Mini Me, sharks with lasers and Frau Farbissina.
DISLIKES: Austin Powers, the Dutch, Will Young.
VERDICT: Sadly a loser. His plans always come to nought. But Simon Fuller and Number 2 would make a formidable team.
BACKGROUND: The son of an RAF pilot, he was born in Cyprus after his father started a school there and grew up in Africa. When the family returned to England, Fuller landed his "dream job" as a Chrysalis Records talent scout before turning to management. His first client was Paul Hardcastle, whose song about the Vietnam War, 19, topped the charts in 14 countries, and sold more than four million copies in 1985.
ATTACK OF THE CLONES? If launching The Spice Girls isn't a crime against humanity, what about Will and Gareth? But before them, and after being dumped by the Spices, he created the S Club 7 phenomenon through a TV show, then via records, tours, the new film and S Club Juniors.
SECRET WEAPON: Masterminding the Pop Idol format and managing Will Young and Gareth Gates. He owned the TV company which made the series and took a slice of the record sales' profits. Repeated this in America and sold the format elsewhere. Now he's rumoured to be planning a World Idol en route to becoming a billionaire.
LIKES: Simon Cowell and Emma Bunton (they have dated on and off).
DISLIKES: Real music fans and Geri Halliwell.
VERDICT: Is there anyone out there who can stop him?
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|Publication:||The Mirror (London, England)|
|Date:||Apr 11, 2003|
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