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Ceremony a drag? It's all in the Games.

Byline: DEREK McGOVERN

THERE'S one thing you

You can say the same about the Olympics.

Two weeks of histrionics and then, once it's over, the Games begin.

There has never been an Olympics opening ceremony that other nations haven't sniggered gently at - the uproarious laughter came from those staging it.

Colourfully dressed characters whose chief function is to 80 per cent of the cost.

The London ceremony has been designed to show what the UK can offer - rain, more rain, and yet more rain.

The Olympics opening ceremony is like the Olympics triple jump - something taken seriously for no apparent reason.

The triple-jump is basically just a posh bloke running for a bus - and I do believe that's one of the stunts in London's opening ceremony.

The driver waits until the posh bloke draws near before speeding off, sending two OAPs a**e over t*t. Opening ceremony organisers have been told the whole shebang must be over by 12.30am, but they don't say if that's the following morning or the following month.

Sir Paul McCartney and Bruce Springsteen (below) were cut off mid-gig last weekend by a jobsworth after over-running the time slot - the jobsworth is now up for a Brit for services to the music industry.

Danny Boyle is reportedly unhappy at the recent cuts to his opening ceremony extravaganza - making him the only man in the world who is - and Hills offer a very tasty 11-4 that it over-runs.

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Title Annotation:Sport
Publication:The Mirror (London, England)
Date:Jul 20, 2012
Words:251
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