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Car clock is back in the groove; THERE'S LIFE IN THE OLD BIRD YET!

Byline: Wilma

SUNDAY

Clocks went forward one hour and I miss that hour already. I never feel right until we get it back again.

In the long, light evenings I always think I should be doing something outside but I haven't got the energy and can't wait until it's time to shut the curtains and find something not to do indoors instead.

The only good thing is that my car clock is at the right time again.

MONDAY

In the public bar we were discussing, as you do, what we'd do if we won the lottery. Strangely enough, most people would give a load of it to charity. As if!

I think folk say this in the hope that the Almighty will look kindly on them and send a great dollop of money their way.

Anyhoo, one of the strangest winner wishes was to be a bigamist.

A bigamist? Why? Well, apparently, he would be able to pay the fine!

TUESDAY

As I was flicking about trying to find something worth watching on TV, I came across Business Inspector. On the same lines as Hotel Inspector and Country House Inspector.

It is sponsored by - wait for it - HM Revenue and Customs! Blooming Nora, I'm sure they don't need to advertise - and isn't that our money they're spending, or should I say, wasting? Of course, if these businesses do start making a profit, it's more money in taxes for the tax-man. Oh the sheer sleekitness.

WEDNESDAY

I'm a cat person, and silver/white gold by the way, but I'm not starting all that nonsense again. When my last cat died two years ago, I swore I'd never have another, and yet now I do. Felix is it's name and it's my animated computer "assistant". He cleans himself, purrs, curls up to sleep and stretches himself up in the corner of my screen whilst I type.

I have to admit chatting away and asking if he minds printing this off for me, even apologising if I waken him up, and I always say "Cheerio Felix" when I shut down. Today my other half accused me of "having a cat in there" cos he heard it meow, and when I said he was imagining things he said he could smell it!

THURSDAY

I was writing up the cashbook when the phone rang and a very nice wifie said that a competition my husband entered had won him pounds 1000 of vouchers.

Now one should always have one's wits about one when one is being conned, and one didn't.

Next thing I know I've agreed to have a man come and do drawings for a new kitchen. What? If my excuse for a brain had been working I would have realised that no way would my husband agree to any such thing.

I mean, our kitchen is only 35 years old, why would we need a new one? I tried phoning back but it was a withheld number and this made alarm bells ring. He's supposed to be coming tomorrow at 10am and will phone ahead. I hope he's got a strong constitution as he'll be getting a piece of my mind. Mair sleekitness.

FRIDAY

The smarmy git phoned at 9.45am and said he'd be with us soon and when I told him not to bother he said: "You might have phoned to say that." I told him about withheld numbers and not even being told which company it was. I was proud of myself, never using one sweary word, just my "Get out and don't come back" voice.
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Publication:Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:Apr 3, 2010
Words:596
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