CRUNCH TIME FOR MY SNACKS.
Byline: Rachael Bletchly
IT took me forever to get out of the house yesterday.
I was searching for a snack to slip into my handbag and nibble discreetly on the train later.
Cereal bar? No, too crumbly. Yogurt? Too splattery. Banana? Nooo, far too phallic.
How I wished those "lady-friendly" lowcrunch, purse-sized bags of Doritos were already on sale! As the firm's female boss says: "Women would love to crunch crisps loudly, lick their fingers and pour crumbs into their mouths" but are too genteel and intimidated to do so in public.
Seriously? Stuff that! Someone throw me a multi-pack of Walker's cheese and onion.
They'll fit perfectly into my new wine handbag, pictured left.