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FRED COUPLES, PGA star, in a Yogi-inspired moment: "I'm playing as well as I have ever played, except for the years I've played better."

CHUCK NOLL, Steeler coach, when asked if he intended to adopt the West Coast passing game next season: "Absolutely, the moment Bill Walsh sends me Joe Montana and Jerry Rice."

JOE GABAGIOLA, walking into the dressing room and finding a pair of outfielders grooming themselves in the mirror: "You don't have to keep doing it guys, the umps just called off the game because of the poor hair conditioning."

TIM WOOD, a senior high school student from Indianapolis, after setting the world record for sit-ups by doing 15,525 in 10 hours, and being asked what his next goal would be: "Going to the bathroom."

LEE TREVINO, losing his patience after listening to an elderly woman shouting "Beautiful, beautiful!" after each high-arching practice drive: "Lady what did you expect from a national open champ -- ground balls?"

BILLY MARTIN'S scouting report on Jay Hook, a pitcher with an IQ of 150 and a vocabulary to match: "Fair fast ball, good stuff, but tell him to cut out the big words. You can't get 'em out in the library."

JERRY GLANVILLE after learning that Joe Paterno had just donated $350,000 to Penn State for a new library: "Is that for playbooks or books with hard covers?"

TOBY HARRAH, Colorado Rockies' bench coach, on the year he played for the Yankees: "Everybody should play for the Yankees one time just so they get an idea of what it's really like to be hated by everybody."

WOODY WOODBURN (Torrance Daily Breeze, CA), after a new Nike shoe being tested by Marion Jones fell apart: "Thank heaven she wasn't testing Nike's new racing shorts."

JACK CURTICE, on what it was like preparing for Southern Cal every year: "It was four straight hours of grueling blocking, tackling, and windsprints every afternoon. It felt like a heart transplant. Our heads kept saying yes and our bodies kept saying no."

LAVELL EDWARDS, Brigham Young, on why his best passer was playing behind two sophomore quarter-backs: "Because of his unusual brain. It starts working the moment he gets up in the morning and doesn't stop until he gets into the huddle."

LARRY KELLEY, star Yale end, after hearing his 300-lb. coach, Herman Hickman, tell the team that they not only were good players, but a fine group of men: "Thanks, Coach, you're a fine group, too."

RON PERRANOSKI, veteran Dodger relief pitcher, on the kind of year he was having in 1964: "I opened my mailbox and all I found was an ant -- who lined a double to the opposite field."

MEL STOTTLEMYRE, Yankee pitching coach, coming out to the mound to remove the pitcher, who begged to stay in because he had struck out the next hitter the last time he faced him: "Yeah, Joe, that's right, but that was this inning."
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Publication:Coach and Athletic Director
Article Type:Brief Article
Date:Dec 1, 2000
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